Women in Islam
& Refutation of some Common
Misconceptions
By:Dr. Abdul-Rahman Al-Sheha
Table of Contents
·
Foreword of Translator
·
Preface
·
Introduction
·
Demands about Women's Rights
·
Status of Women throughout the Ages: Women in the
Pre-Islamic Societies and Civilizations
·
Women's Rights in Islam: in general, as children and
daughters, as sisters, as wives, as mothers.
1. Care for Women in
General, and the Equality of Men and Women in Islam, and their complementary
nature to one another
2. Women as Children and
Daughters
3. Women as Wives
4. Women as Mothers
- Women as Kinfolks and Neighbors
- Misconceptions about Women in Islam
- Polygyny in Islam
- Power of Guardianship in the Marriage Contract
- Financial and Moral Responsibilities of the
Household
- Wife Disciplining
- Honor Killing
- Power to Divorce is with the husband
- Women's Rights of Inheritance
- Blood Money
- Testimony of Women
- Travel Without Closely Related Male Escort
17. Women's Right to Work
18. On Hijab (covering
head & face)
·
Conclusion
Foreword of Translator
I begin with the name of
Allah Most Beneficent Most Merciful
All praise is due to Allah the Exalted and may Allah exalt the mention
of His Prophet and render him and his household, his Companions, and all those who follow their way safe from every
evil, and grant them security on the Day of Resurrection.
This book discusses the
special place women have in the religion of Islam and seeks to address some of
the many misconceptions and false propaganda published by those who are ignorant
of this religion or harbor a malicious intent to purposely misrepresent this
religion. Islam states that men and women are totally equal in their humanity,
and basic human responsibilities and rights; a concept that was radically new
to the world compared to other civilizations at the time of the inception of
the Islamic Message through the Prophet Muhammad (r),
and remains so for many people of the globe until today. Islam also states that
men and women have complimentary roles and obligations in society, which are commensurate
with their natural physical, psychological and social inclinations and
differences. The feminine qualities of women can only find fulfillment when
they are taken into account in relation to men, just as the masculine qualities
of men are not complete without the complimentary role of women in society. A
great injustice is done by seeking to force upon them genderless equality where
they are different and complement each other, or by forcing them to be unequal,
and thus demeaning them, where they are truly equal. Only Allah, the Almighty
and Omniscient Creator, is the Perfect Guide to the correct and smooth path,
devoid of extremism and deficiencies. Since rights are always in relation to
abilities, obligations and duties, the unique perspective of Islam on women’s
rights needs to be put into the context of a complete moral and legal code of
Islamic belief, morality and law. Humanity can only survive and prosper with
the survival and prosperity of the family unit. Each member of the family
fulfills his or her obligations and receives his or her rights, while bound to
universally accepted virtues, of which include faith, purity, chastity,
respectfulness, good manners and upright morality. Of course, different
civilizations and cultures present different views on these issues and virtues.
In the Islamic revealed scriptures, there are many eloquent
expressions of woman’s equality with man and the special relationship and bond
between man and woman. For instance, the Most Majestic says:
(Surely for men
who submit to Allah and for women who submit to Allah, for believing men and
for believing women, for devout men and devout women, for truthful men and
truthful women, for steadfast men and steadfast women, for humble men and
humble women, for charitable men and charitable women, for fasting men and
fasting women, for men who guard their chastity and women who guard their
chastity, for men who remember Allah much and for women who remember Allah
much, for all of them Allah has prepared forgiveness and a mighty reward.)
[33:35]
And Allah, the Exalted, says:
(…they are garments for you, and you are garments
for them…) [2:187]
Clothes and garments are a necessity for warmth, protection,
covering, and adornment. In our clothes we find comfort, security, satisfaction
and identity. The male and female are in need of each other in a way similar to
how the naked body of the human stands in need of clothes to face his natural
and social environment.
Islamic civilization has its
own view to present; a view that we believe expresses the highest of possible
human values achievable because it is based on the divine revelation and
guidance from the One and only Creator, the God of Mankind, Allah the
Beneficent, Wise, Sublime and Omniscient, Who knows all the needs of his
creations. He sent His last and final Prophet and Messenger to mankind;
Muhammad ibn Abdullah (r). He inspired him with the
revelation and teachings that were to be a perfect guide and example to the
sincere worshipper, the servant of Allah in righteousness and obedience, in all
the various circumstances and spheres of life. With humility and humble service
Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah (r),
delivered the message and fulfilled the huge responsibility of his mission of
beneficence and mercy.
His family and followers, although
humans with the imperfections that are the mark of human frailty, followed his
example of righteousness, fortitude in goodness and selfless virtue. After the
examples of all the Prophets of Allah, which included Noah, Abraham, Moses and
Jesus (may Allah exalt their mention), it is they who present for us the best
examples. Successive generations of Muslims have exhibited mixed behavior, and
some have unfortunately deviated horrendously to the lowest grades of
misguidance, wickedness and criminal behavior. Nevertheless, Muslims remain
encouraged and optimistic because there will never be an era without some
glowing lights of knowledgeable, upright, and virtuous Muslim men and women,
who exhibit the virtues by which the Islamic message and mission is characterized.
This book was previously
published with the title WOMAN IN THE SHADE OF ISLAM, and we have strived to
re-adapt the work for the benefit of a wider range of English readers. We ask
Allah, the Exalted, to accept our humble efforts and forgive our lapses and
mistakes. He indeed answers prayers and accepts good deeds.
Preface
All
praise is due to Allah the Exalted. May Allah exalt the mention of His Prophet
and his household and render them safe from every derogatory thing
I believe that I cannot
present any new information on the issues related to women’s rights and the
place of women in Islam. Therefore I have attempted to collect, arrange and
summarize some of the relevant information on this subject and present it for
the benefit of the reader .I hope and pray for guidance from Allah the Exalted
that I am successful in reaching my goals.
It is a great injustice to
accuse Islam of wrongdoing and oppression to women when there are many
statements of the revealed book of Allah, the Qur'an, and of the
teachings of the Prophet (r) which negate and
disprove this false slander. Allah, the Exalted, says:
(O
Mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into
nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most honorable
of you in the Sight of Allah is the believer who has Taqwa (piety
and righteousness). Verily, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware)
[49:13]
Allah, the Exalted, also says:
(And among His Signs is that He created for you
wives from among yourselves, that you may find peace and repose in them, and He
has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for
people who reflect) [30:21]
The Prophet r
said:
“Verily women are the twin halves of
men."
[Abu Dawood #234 , Tirmidhi #113 & others]
Introduction
Various calls for women’s
freedom, liberation and equal rights have been heard all over the world, and
many slogans have been coined for the marches. In some societies women have
indeed lived under oppression, cruelty and injustice, and have been denied
basic rights of humanity. Nor is it denied that some Muslims have deviated from
the Islamic principles and teachings. Islamic law, on the other hand, has collected
women’s rights in a comprehensive and balanced system of human rights and
obligations. Close examination of the slogans propagated by the international
women's liberation movements show that they revolve around three elements:
women's liberation, equal rights with men and women's rights. We will examine
them in the light of Islamic law and teachings, regardless of the practices of
some of the ignorant and deviant Muslims.
Firstly, the word
"liberation" indicates that there are shackles, bonds and
restrictions in place, and secondly, that women are enslaved and must be
liberated. This is ambiguous and misleading since absolute liberty is
impossible, regardless of whether they are men or women. Mankind is naturally
restricted by the limitations of innate limited abilities, and necessities of
social organization. Both men and women must live in a social environment under
certain laws, rules and regulations that govern and organize the various
affairs of life. Does that mean that man is not free and independent in his
actions, or that he is clear from the responsibility of his deeds? Can anyone
be free of natural limits and legal restrictions? If they are slaves, then the
question becomes, to whom? Any so called freedom and liberty has natural and
legal limits, which, if exceeded, will lead to destructive activities that all
recognize as indecent, uncivilized and criminal. Islamic law decreed that both
men and women seek freedom and liberation from idolatry, tyranny, exploitation
and injustice. The divinely revealed principles and laws teach and advocate
strict monotheism, justice and noble morality. Within this framework men and
women have inter-dependent and complementary roles. Islamic law granted women
the right to deal in many affairs within the society directly, rather than
dealing via a guardian. Women in Islam are officially responsible and in charge
of running all their affairs whether economical, social or otherwise, as in
many societies. For her protection and maintenance, her father, brother, uncle
and husband - the stronger sex - are obligated and legally bound to guard her
honor and maintain her sustenance and proper living circumstances according to
their abilities, throughout the stages of her life. Is this demeaning her
position, or elevating it? Islam has forbidden men and women equally from being
indecent publicly, and this translates differently for the two sexes for
natural reasons. All must protect virtue in private, and guard themselves in
public. Islamic law protects women from intimidation and molestation, and this
demands that no one of either gender commit acts that are sexually provocative
or enticing to the other. For this reason Islamic law requires modest clothing
for her protection when going out of the home, and prohibits open ended free
intermingling, and any type of physical touching of the other sex.
Islam illustrates the concept
of freedom and liberty in such a way that individual behavior must not be
harmful to the individual or destructive to the society at large, as
graphically illustrated in the words of the Messenger of Allah (r)
when he said in an authentic tradition:
“The example of a person who observes the laws
of Allah and the person who violates them are examples of two groups of people
who gathered on a ship and decided to divide their places. One group received
the upper deck as their lot, while the other group received the lower part of
the ship. Whenever the people in the lower part needed water they had to pass
through the people on the upper deck. The people in the lower part thought to
themselves: 'If we drill a hole in our portion of the ship, we can have
access to the water without disturbing the party on the upper deck.' If the
group on the upper deck allows them execute their plan, all the people will be
destroyed, and if they forbid them from doing so, they all will be safe.” [Bukhari
#2361 & others]
A well-known German thinker
and philosopher, Schopenhauer said:
"Grant woman total and absolute freedom and liberty for ONE YEAR
ONLY, and check with me after that to see the results of such freedom. Do not
forget that you (all), along with me, will inherit virtues, chastity and
good morals. If I die (before then) you are free to say either:
"He was wrong!" or "He hit the heart of the truth!"
An American female reporter, Helesian
Stansbery, who is syndicated in over 250 newspapers, worked in the area of
journalism and broadcasting for over 20 years, and visited numerous Muslim
countries had this to say at the end of one of her visits to a Muslim country:
“The Arab-Islamic society is wholesome and healthy. This society must
continue to protect its traditions that restrict both its males and females to
a certain and reasonable degree. This society definitely differs from the
European and American societies. The Arab-Islamic society has its own
traditions that impose certain restrictions and limitations on women and give
special respect and status to parents… First and foremost, the most strict
restrictions and limitations are on absolute sexual freedom that truly
threatens both the society and the family in Europe and the United
States of America. Therefore, the
restrictions that are imposed by the Arab-Islamic society are valid and
beneficial as well. I strongly recommend that you adhere to your traditions and
code of ethics. Forbid coeducation. Restrict female freedom, or rather, return
back to the full 'purdah' (veiling) practices. Truly this is
better for you than the sexual freedom of Europe and the United
States of America. Forbid coeducation
because we have suffered from it in the USA.
The American society has become sophisticated, full of all forms and terms of
sexual freedom. The victims of sexual freedom and coeducation are filling the
prisons, sidewalks, bars, taverns and whorehouses. The (false) freedom
that we have granted to our young females and daughters has turned them to
drugs, crime and white slavery. Coeducation, sexual freedom and all other types
of "freedom" in the European and American societies
have threatened the family and shaken moral values and ethics."
The question that poses
itself to women's liberation advocates is: What is the truly the best, most
beneficial and most protective system for the preservation of the honor,
dignity and protection of women?
Demands for Women's
Rights
Women worldwide demand equal
rights. There is not a system of law that preserves, maintains and protects
what are truly women’s rights, as much as Islamic law does, whether in the past
or in modern times. This will be verified and substantiated in the following
sections of the book.
Sir
Hamilton, the well-known English thinker and philosopher, stated in his
book on Islam and Arab Civilization:
"The rules, regulations and verdicts concerning women in Islam are
clear, frank and open. Islam capitalizes on the complete care that should be
given to the protection of a woman against anything that may harm her
personally, or cause ill-fame to her reputation or character."
Gustave
Le Bon, the well-known French thinker stated in his book “The Arab
Civilization”:
“Islamic virtuous deeds are not limited to honoring and respecting
women, but rather, we can add that Islam is the first religion to honor and
respect women. We can easily prove this by illustrating that all religions and
nations, prior to the advent of Islam, caused much harm and insult to women.”
[p.488]
He also points out:
“Matrimonial rights
which have been stated and illustrated in the Glorious Qur'an and by the
interpreters of the meanings of the Glorious Qur'an are far better than
European matrimonial rights for both husband and wife.” [p.497]
Over fourteen hundred years
ago, Islam began to spread to the known world from Makkah, and then Madinah,
where the Prophet of Allah, Muhammad bin Abdullah (r)
taught his message. Islam spread its light through the teachings of the
revealed scriptures of the Glorious Book of Allah, the Qur'an, and the inspired
traditions of the Sunnah (Way) of Prophet (r)
which are the undisputed basis of the Islamic law. The Islamic teachings and
system of law had a profound impact on the lives of the followers of Islam, and
consequently, this impact affected the societies in the lands where Muslims
traveled and settled. Islam spread very rapidly in an astounding manner in the
known world and left a comprehensive system of life that addresses every human
need. Islam does not contradict, clash with or reject any of the lawful, sound
and meaningful requirements of the human being's existence, which are essential
to his continuity in life.
In order to understand changes that Islam
brought for women, we must examine briefly the status of women prior to the
advent of Islam in the Arab society and other civilizations in the world.
Status
of Women throughout the Ages:
Women in the Pre-Islamic Societies and Civilizations
Women suffered great
injustices in the pagan Arab society and were exposed to diverse kinds of
humiliation prior to the mission of the Messenger of Allah (r).
They were treated like material property to be disposed of at the whim of the
male guardian. They were not entitled to inherit from their parents or
husbands. Arabs believed inheritance should only be granted to those who had
martial abilities, like being able to ride a horse, fight, gain war booties and
help protect the tribe and clan territory. Since women in the pagan Arab
society did not generally have these qualities, they were themselves inherited
like any moveable commodity after the death of an indebted husband. If the
deceased husband had adult sons from other marriages, the oldest son amongst
them had the right to add her to his household, just as a son inherits other chattels
of his deceased father. She was unable to leave the house of her stepson unless
she paid a ransom.
As a general practice, men
had the freedom to acquire as many wives as they desired with no set limits.
There was no system of law and justice that would forbid a man from committing
any injustice towards his wives. Women had no right to choose, or even consent
to being chosen as a partner for marriage; they were simply given away. Women
were forbidden to remarry if a husband divorced them.
In the pre-Islamic era of Arabia,
fathers commonly became extremely angry and disgraced with the birth of a
female child into their family. Some considered it an evil omen. Allah, the
Exalted, describes the father's reception of the news about the birth of a
daughter:
(When the news of (the birth of) a female is
brought to any of them, his face becomes dark, and he is filled with inward
grief! He hides himself from the people because of the evil (and shame)
of that which he has been informed. Shall he keep her with dishonor, or bury
her in the dirt? Certainly, evil is their decision…)
[16:59]
Women were not even able to
practice some of the most natural of rights. For instance eating certain types
of foods was allowed only for males. Allah, the Exalted, records this in the
Glorious Qur'an:
(And they say: What is in the bellies of such cattle
(whether milk or fetus) is for the male alone, and forbidden from our
females, however, if it was born dead, then all have shares therein...)
[6:139]
The hatred of female babies prompted Arabs to bury them alive.
Allah, the Exalted, states in the Glorious Qur'an with reference to the Day of Requital:
(And when the female buried alive shall be
questioned: for what sin was she killed?)
[81:8-9]
Some fathers used to bury their
female children alive if the child was leprous, lame or with birth defect.
Allah (Y)
states in the Glorious Qur'an:
(And kill not your children for fear of poverty. We
provide for them and you. Surely, the killing of them is a great sin.)
[17:31]
The one honor afforded to
women during the pre-Islamic era was the protection of her person, family and
tribe, and the revenge against any who humiliated or dishonored her, but even
this was more for male pride, dignity and tribal honor than a concern for the
female gender.
This situation of women in
the Arab society led Umar ibn al-Khattab, the second Caliph of the
Muslims (t)
to say, as reported by Muslim:
“By
Allah, we didn’t use to think that women had anything until Allah revealed
about them what He revealed in the Qur’an, and distributed to them what He
distributed…” [Bukhari #4629 &
Muslim #31]
Women in Indian Society
In Indian
society women were treated generally as maids or slaves as if they had no will
or desire of their own. They had to follow their husbands in all matters. Women
were given as payment for loss to a gambling opponent. To show devotion, they
were forced to burn themselves alive by jumping onto the funeral pyre of their
husbands after their death. This practice, called “sutti” continued
until the end of the 17th century when this custom was outlawed in spite of the
dismay it caused the Hindu religious leaders. Although outlawed formally, sutti
was widely practiced until the end of 19th century and still continues
in some of the remote areas of India.
In certain regions of India,
women are offered to the priests as concubines, or as prostitutes to be
exploited. In others, they were sacrificed to the Hindu gods to please them or
seek rain. Some Hindu laws even declare that:
“The
predestined patience, the blowing wind or tornadoes, death, hellfire, poison,
snakes and fire are no less evil than women”.
It is also stated in Hindu religious books,
that
"When
Manna [the Hindu god of creation] created women he imposed onto them the
love of bed, seats, decoration [make-up], filthy lust (of all types and kinds),
anger, rebellion against honor and dignity and evil attitudes, behavior and
conduct."
In the teachings of Manna Herma Sistra
concerning women, one can read:
"A woman may live without a choice
regardless of whether she is a little girl, a young lady or a mature woman. A
young girl is under the command and choice of her father. A married woman is
under the command and choice of her husband. A widow is under the command and
choice of her male children, and she may never become independent (after
the death of her husband). A widow may never remarry after the death of her
husband, but rather, she must neglect all that she likes in terms of food,
clothes, and makeup until she dies. A woman may not own or possess anything, as
whatever she may gain or acquire shall go straight and immediately to the
ownership of her husband."
In some rare cases, a woman had several husbands at the same
time.
No
doubt this made her as a prostitute in society.
Women
in Chinese Society
Women in
Chinese society occupied a low and degraded status. They were customarily
assigned the most despised and least important jobs and positions. The male
child was looked upon as a "gift" from the gods, and treated
accordingly. As for the female child, she had to endure multiple hardships,
like the binding of her feet in order to cripple her from running and other
customs. A Chinese proverb says:
"Listen
to your wife, but never believe what she says."
The status of women in the Chinese society was not much better
than that of the pagan pre-Islamic Arab and the Indian societies.
Women in Greek Society
Among the Greeks, women were degraded to the extent that
men claimed that women were nothing but the epitome of evil. There was no
system to protect women in that society. They were deprived of the rights to
education; bought and sold like any other commodity; deprived of the right of
inheritance; and considered as minors with no rights to make any transactions regard
to possessions and wealth. Women were subjected to the will of men throughout
their lives. Divorce was an absolute right of men. The common situation of
women in the society led some Greek thinkers to say:
"Woman's name must be locked up in the house, as it is the case with
her body."
Gustave
Le Bon, the French thinker, stated about the status of women in the Greek
society in his book "Arab Civilization":
"Greeks, in general, considered women to be the lowest creatures of
the low. They were useful for nothing other than reproduction and taking care
of the household affairs. If a woman gave birth to an 'ugly, retarded or
handicapped' child, the man could take the liberty to kill the (unwanted or
undesirable) child."
Demosthenes, the well-known Greek
orator and thinker said:
"We Greek men enjoy the company of prostitutes for sexual pleasure;
'girl-friends' and 'sweet-hearts', to care of our daily needs, and we marry to
get 'legitimate' children."
From this
licentious double standard, and depraved morality, we can see what fortune
women had in such a society based on the statement issued by one of their top
rank, well-known thinkers.
Woman in Roman Society
A woman in Roman society was also looked upon as an
inferior being that could not run her own affairs. All authority was in the
hands of men who totally dominated all private and public affairs. Men even had
the authority to sentence their wives to death in certain cases when accused of
specific crimes. The authority of man over woman in the Roman society included
the right to sell her, punish her with tortuous punishments, send her into
exile or kill her. The woman in Roman society had to listen to and obey all
commands given by the man. And they were deprived of the right of inheritance.
Woman in Jewish Society
Women in traditional Jewish society were not more
fortunate than those previously described. In the Old Testament women were
described as follows:
"I applied mine heart to know and to search, and to seek out
wisdom, and the reason of things, and to know the wickedness of folly, even of
foolishness and madness: And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose
heart snares and nets, and her hands as bands…" [Ecclesiastes (7:25-26)]
In the Septuagint,
it says,
“And if a man sells his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go
out as the menservants do. If she pleases not her master, who has betrothed her
to himself, then shall he let her be redeemed: to sell her unto a strange
nation he shall have no power, seeing he has dealt deceitfully with her. And if
he had betrothed her unto his son, he shall deal with her after the manner of
daughters. If he takes him another wife, her food, her raiment, and her duty of
marriage, shall he not diminish. If he does not do these three unto her, then
shall she go out free without money." [Exodus (21:7-11)]
Thus, if a Jewish woman got
married, her guardianship was transferred from her father to her husband and
she became as one of his possessions such as his house, his slave, his
maidservant or his money or wealth.
Jewish teachings and laws deprived the girl
of her father's inheritance if the father had other male children. In the Old
Testament, the Septuagint, it says:
"And thou shalt speak unto the children of Israel,
'If a man dies, and has no son, then ye shall cause his inheritance to pass
unto his daughters'." [Numbers (27:8)]
Moreover, Jewish men never slept in the same bed with a
menstruating woman, or ate with her or drank with her. Jewish men used to
isolate themselves fully from a menstruating woman until she was completely
free from her menses.
Woman in Christian Society
Christian priests went to the extreme of considering the
woman as the cause of "original sin" and the source of all
catastrophes from which the entire world has suffered. For this very reason,
the physical relationship between man and woman has traditionally been labeled
as "filthy" or "dirty" even if it were officially done and
performed within a legitimate marriage contract.
Saint
Trotolian says:
"Woman is the Satan's pathway to a man's heart. Woman pushes man to
the "Cursed Tree." Woman violates God's laws and distorts his picture
(i.e. man's picture)."
Wieth
Knudesen, a Danish writer, illustrated the woman's status in the middle
ages saying:
"According to the Catholic faith, which considered the woman as a
second class citizen, very little care and attention was given to her."
In 1586 a
conference was held in France
to decide whether women should be considered as human beings or not. The
conference came to a conclusion that:
"Woman is a human being, but
she is created to serve man."
Thus, the conference approved
the rights for women as human beings, a matter that was previously in doubt and
undecided! Moreover, those who attended the conference did not decide on full
rights for the woman, but rather; she was a follower of man and a maidservant
to him with no personal rights. This decision was in effect until 1938, when,
for the first time, a decree was issued to abrogate all the laws that forbid a
woman from conducting her own financial affairs directly and opening a bank
account in her own name.
Europeans continued to discriminate
against women and deprive them of their rights throughout the Middle-Ages. It
is also surprising to know that English laws turned a blind eye to the selling
of one's wife! The rift between the sexes, men and women, continued to
increase, so much so that women became fully under the control of men. Women
were stripped completely of all their rights and whatever they owned. All that
a woman owned belonged to her husband. For instance, until very recently women,
according to the French law, were not considered capable of making their own
financial decisions in their private ownership. We can read article 217
of the French law that states:
"A married woman has no right to grant, transfer, bond, own with or
without payment, without her husband's participation in the sale contract, or
his written consent to it, regardless of whether the marriage contract
stipulated that there should be a complete separation between the husband's and
wife's possessions and ownership of various items."
Despite all amendments and
modifications, which occurred in these French laws, we can still see how these
laws are affecting married French women. It is a form of civilized slavery.
Furthermore,
a married woman loses her surname (family's name) as soon as she enters into a
marriage contract. A married woman shall carry the family name of her husband.
This, of course, indicates that a married woman will only be a follower of her
husband and she will even lose her personal identity.
Bernard
Shaw, the well-known English writer says:
"The moment a woman marries;
all her personal possessions become her husband's in accordance to the English
law."
Lastly, there is one more injustice that has been imposed upon
the woman in the Western society which is that a marriage bond is made to last
forever, in accordance with legal and religious teachings. There is no right of
divorce (according to Catholicism, at least). Husband and wife are only
separated from each other physically. This separation may have contributed to
all sorts of social decay and corruption, such as having affairs, mistresses,
boyfriends, girlfriends, as well as possibly prostitution, and homosexual and
lesbian relations. Moreover, a surviving widow is not given the chance to
remarry and lead a normal married life after the death of her husband.
No doubt, what is called modern western civilization and which endeavors to
dominate the globe, is indebted to the Greek and Roman traditions for its civil
foundations, and to the Judaic-Christian traditions for its ideological and religious
foundations. The abuses mentioned above collectively led, due to gradual and
eventual effects of technological and social modernization, to the expected and
natural reaction: movements demanding women’s rights in the society, led by
thinkers, educators, lobbyists, and human rights and women rights’ activists.
The pendulum was set to swing in the other direction, and they demanded
absolute equal rights and liberation from male chauvinism and abuses. In many
of the modern secular societies, women are indeed given numerous equal rights,
but at the same time, equality has exposed them to the molestation and double
standards rampant in the immoral materialistic culture that markets her as an
object of sexual desire, for sale, contract or rent. The ensuing breakdown of
the family unit, and the widespread sexual immorality, abortion, homosexuality,
and criminal deviancy from sexual liberation, has led to some counter reactions
in the society, especially from the religious conservatives, but apparently, the
trends are too strong to turn the tide back.
In this global context, and from
this historical legacy, we will present the salient features of women’s rights
in Islam and shed light on some common misconceptions in order to show the
superiority of following Allah’s guidance rather than men and women guiding
each other by whim and desire.
Women's
Rights in Islam: in general; as children and daughters; sisters; wives;
mothers, and as kinfolk and neighbors
Islam deals with women in a
comprehensive way in the context of her relationship with Allah, her Creator
and Lord, with herself as a part of humanity, and with man, her partner and
natural spouse in the family. During the presentation below, keep in mind the
rights that other societies grant them in comparison to the rights to which
Islam has entitled women. It is noteworthy that Islamic teachings are attentive
to the needs and rights of the weaker gender throughout her life: as a daughter,
sister, wife, mother, and as a member of the Islamic society.
Equality of Men and Woman in
Islam, and their complementary nature to one another
In one sense, equality
between men and women is possible and reasonable because they are both human,
with similar souls, brains, hearts, lungs, limbs, etc. In another sense,
equality between men and women is impossible and an absurdity due to their
natural differences in physical, mental, emotional and psychological qualities,
inclinations and abilities. Between these two we must tread to illuminate how
they are equal, and how they are complimentary.
If total equality between all
members of the same gender is impossible due to natural differences in
strengths and other qualities, regardless of whether the gender is masculine or
feminine, then it is definitely impossible between the two genders. Allah, the
Exalted and Almighty, says in the Glorious Qur’an:
(And of everything We have created pairs, that you
may remember (the Grace of Allah).)
[51:49]
Even atoms exhibit this dual
quality with inter-related and complementary roles played by the positive and
negative particles and ions, yet each is an integral part of the whole system
of the so called binary basis of all life. Most living beings have male and
female sexes for reproduction. As the science of biology teaches us, all
mammals have similar traits in their molecular and glandular structures that determine
differences in gender. These basic physical, psychological and sexual traits
have their definite effects on other spheres of life.
It is natural for a man to need and find fulfillment with a
woman and for a woman with a man, since they are created one from the other and
for one another. They both are inseparably bound to each other. Neither can they
find fulfillment except when in the company of the other as legal and honorable
mate and spouse, as Allah (U) says in His Majestic
Book, the Qur’an, mentioned in the two verses cited in the preface:
(O Mankind! We have created you from a male and a
female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily,
the most honorable of you in the Sight of Allah is the believer who has Taqwa
(piety and righteousness). Verily, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware.)
[49:13]
In many instances Islam
treats women as equals to men. Some of them are given below. In the coming
sections we will expand on these themes in various contexts throughout the
book.
1) Both the male and
the female are equal in terms of their humanity. Islam does not categorize
women, for instance, as the source of evil in the world for some “original sin”
that caused Adam (u) to be dismissed from
Paradise, or to be the cause of evil in the world by setting loose a Pandora’s
box of vices, as some other religious doctrines and fables teach.
Allah, the
Exalted and Almighty, states in the Glorious Qur'an:
(O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you
from a single person (Adam), and from him (Adam) He created his
wife (Eve), and from them both He created many men and women...)
[4:1]
Allah also
states in the Glorious Qur'an:
(Does man think that he will be left neglected
without being punished or rewarded for the obligatory duties enjoined by his
Lord (Allah) on him? Was he not a mixed male and female discharge of
semen pouring forth? Then he became a clot; then (Allah) shaped and
fashioned (him) in due proportion, and made him into two sexes, male and
female. Is He not able to raise to life those who are dead?)
[75:36-40]
Allah illustrated in the verses that He created both sexes
from one single source. There is no difference between the two sexes in terms
of qualifications in humanity, and each complements the other as the two
genders of the species. Islam has abolished and abrogated all the previous
unjust laws that demoted women as inferior in quality and nature. The Prophet
of Allah (r)
said:
“Verily, women are
the twin halves of men."
[Abu Dawood #234 , Tirmidhi #113 & others]
2) Equal religious
duties and rituals are required from both women and men. Testimony of Faith (Shahaadah),
Prayer (Salah), Obligatory Charity (Zakah), Fasting (Saum),
and Pilgrimage (Hajj) are equally required of both genders. In some
cases the requirements are a bit easier on women to alleviate their special
cases of hardship. For instance, in consideration of her health and physical
condition, menstruating women or a woman in the state of postnatal bleeding and
recuperation are absolved from the duty of prayers and fasting. She is required
to make up the days of fasting missed due to menses and postnatal bleeding, but
not her prayers, as that would be too burdensome.
3) Both males and females have similar rewards for
obedience and penalties for disobedience in this world and the Hereafter. As
stated by Allah in the Glorious Qur'an:
(Whoever does righteous acts, whether male or
female, while he is a believer, verily, to him We will give a good life, and We
shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used
to do.)
[16:97]
And the Lord Most Majestic says:
(Surely for men
who submit to Allah and for women who submit to Allah, for believing men and
for believing women, for devout men and devout women, for truthful men and
truthful women, for steadfast men and steadfast women, for humble men and
humble women, for charitable men and charitable women, for fasting men and
fasting women, for men who guard their chastity and women who guard their
chastity, for men who remember Allah much and for women who remember Allah
much, for all of them Allah has prepared forgiveness and a mighty reward.)
[33:35]
4) Women have the same
moral obligations and are entitled to the same general rights as men in
guarding chastity, integrity and personal honor and respect, etc. No double
standards are allowed. For instance, those who falsely accuse a chaste woman of
adultery or fornication are publicly punished, just as if a man is slandered.
Allah, the Exalted, states in the Glorious Qur'an:
(And those who accuse chaste women, and produce not
four witnesses, flog them with eighty lashes, and reject their testimony
forever. Indeed, they are those who are disobedient to Allah.)
[24:4]
5) Women are equally
qualified and allowed to engage in financial dealings and property ownership. According
to Islamic law women can own, buy, sell and undertake any financial transaction
without the need for guardianship, and without any restrictions or limitations
- a situation unheard of in many societies until modern times.
6) Islam indicates
that a man who honors, respects and deals with women justly and integrally,
possesses a healthy and righteous personality, whereas a man who mistreats them
is an unrighteous and unrespectable man. The Prophet of Allah r
said:
“The most complete
believer is the best in character, and the best of you is the best to his
womenfolk.”
[Tirmidhi #1162 and verified]
7) Islam entitles
women to the same rights as men in terms of education and cultivation. The
Prophet of Allah r said, as reported and
authenticated by the scholars of prophetic traditions:
“Seeking knowledge is compulsory for each and every Muslim (i.e.
both male and female).”
[Ibn Maajah #224 & al-Baihaqi and verified]
Muslim scholars collectively
agreed that the word "Muslim" when used in revealed scriptures
includes both male and female, as we indicated in parenthesis. Thus, Islam
entitles women to the same right of education in order to understand the
religious and social obligations, and obligated them both to raise their
children in the best manner, in accordance with the right Islamic guidance. Of
course women have certain obligations in bringing up their children that are
commensurate to their abilities and men have complementary obligations to
finance, protect and maintain according to their added responsibilities in the
family unit.
The Prophet (r)
said:
“Whoever
takes care of two girls until they reach puberty, he and I will come on the Day
of Resurrection like this.” The Messenger of Allah (r)
then joined his fingers to illustrate this. [Muslim #2631]
About female slave girls, the Prophet of Allah (r) said:
“Whoever has a female child with him (under his
guardianship from slavery), and trains her in the best behavior, and teaches
her well, and then frees and marries her, will have a double reward.”
[Bukhari #97 & Muslim #154 ]
8) Men and women have similar obligations and
responsibilities to reform and correct the society to the best of their
capability. Men and women shoulder the responsibility of enjoining good and
forbidding evil equally, as Allah, the Exalted, states in the Qur'an:
(The believers, men and women, are helpers,
supporters, friends and protectors of one another, they enjoin all that is
good, and forbid all that is evil, they offer their prayers perfectly, and give
Zakah (Obligatory Charity) and obey Allah and His Messenger.
Allah will bestow Mercy on them. Surely Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise.)
[9:71]
9) Men and women have set and determined rights to
receive their fair share of wealth, just as they are obliged to give Zakah
(Obligatory Charity) according to the set calculation. All Muslim scholars
unanimously agree upon this. A woman has her set share of inheritance, as will
be discussed in more detail later, which was a right unthinkable in many
societies.
Allah (U)
says:
(There is a share for men from what is left by
parents and those closely related, and there is a share for women from what is
left by parents and those closely related, whether the wealth be small or
large: a legal mandatory share.)
[4:7]
10) A woman, just like a man, can give someone
the right of seeking refuge and security among the Muslims. Allah, the Exalted,
says:
(And if one of the polytheists seeks refuge, give
him until he hears the words of Allah, then take him to his place of security.) [9:71]
The Messenger of Allah (r)
said:
“…and the protection of Muslims is one,
and the least among them can give protection; and whoever usurps the right of a
Muslim then the curse of Allah and His angels and all the people is upon him,
and no repentance or ransom will be accepted from him…” [Bukhari
#3008]
This is
also proven by the famous story of Um Hani' (Mother of Hani') when she
gave protection to a polytheist who sought refuge with her on the day of the
conquest of Makkah after her relative
threatened to kill that person (for some past enmity) so the Messenger of Allah
(r)
said,
“We protect and give asylum to whomever you give
asylum O Um Hani'.” [Bukhari
#350]
These are
just some of the rights, mentioned here as examples in a summarized way to
indicate the comprehensive nature of the Islamic jurisprudence.
Women
as Infants, Children and Daughters
Allah, the Exalted, states in the Glorious Qur'an concerning
the necessity and importance of the preservation and care of new born children,
the very first right of the child:
(And kill not your children for fear of poverty. We
provide for them and for you. Surely, such a killing is a great sin.) [17:31]
Islam requires parents
to give their children beautiful names, take proper care of them, take care of
all their needs, provide for them reasonably in accordance with the parent's
income, and ensure a decent, respected and honorable life for them.
And the authentic prophetic tradition says:
“Verily Allah has prohibited for you to be
disobedient and ungrateful to your mothers or to bury your daughters alive…” [Bukhari
#1407 & Muslim #593 ]
Thus they have the right of
blood money if killed, as it is reported by Aishah:
“Two women from Huthail tribe fought and one
threw a stone and killed the other and that which was in her womb, so the
Prophet (r) judged that the
blood money is a slave boy or girl, and the blood money of the woman (100
she-camels) was to be paid by her clansmen.” [Bukhari
#3512 & Muslim #1681]
Allah, the Exalted, states in the Glorious
Qur'an:
(Mothers shall nurse their children for two whole
years, for those parents who desire to complete the term of suckling, and the
father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother's food and clothing on a
reasonable basis.) [2:233]
Care and guardianship of
children is the most important right after the right of (milk) nursing by the
mother. The mother is entitled to the custody of the child, son or daughter at
the early stage of life, between the ages of one and thirteen or fourteen. This
applies particularly in cases of divorce due to essential differences between
parents. Islam entitles the mother to her child’s custody during early
childhood because she, generally, is more caring and attentive to the child's
needs. 'Abdullah bin Amr related that a woman came to the Prophet (r)
complaining about her husband saying:
“My womb held my baby as a fetus, my breast nursed the
baby as an infant, and my lap carried the child for a long time. Now the father
divorced me and he wants to rip the baby away from me!"
He (r)
said: “You deserve the child's custody more as long as you do not remarry.” [Abu Dawood #2276 & others]
Parents are obligated to
treat all their children mercifully and with compassion. Abu Hurairah (t) reported:
The Messenger of Allah (r)
kissed Hasan ibn Ali (his grandson) in the presence of Aqra' ibn Habis
at-Tameemi who said, “I have ten children and I never kissed any of them.”
Upon
that he looked at him and replied: “Whoever does not have mercy will not
receive mercy.” [Bukhari #5651 ]
Islamic law stipulates that
parents must care and pay attention to their children, especially girls for
their special needs.
The Prophet (r)
also said:
“Whoever supports two
girls till they attain maturity, he and I will come on the Day of Resurrection
like this.” The Messenger of Allah (r)
then joined his fingers to illustrate this. [Muslim
#2631]
Islamic laws and teachings
mandate that parents raise their children with the best manners and offer them
a sound, beneficial and healthy education. The Prophet of Allah (r)
said:
“It is enough sin for a person to neglect those for whose
care he is responsible.” [Muslim #996]
Ibn Umar
(t)
reported that the Messenger of Allah (r)
said:
“Each one of you
is a shepherd and each one of you is responsible for those under his care. A
leader is a shepherd and is responsible for his citizens. A man is a shepherd
of his family and is responsible for them. A woman is a shepherd in her
husband's home and is responsible for whatever is under her care. A servant is
a shepherd of his master's wealth and is responsible for whatever is under his
care. Each one of you is a shepherd and each one of you is responsible for
whatever is under his care.” [Bukhari#853
& Muslim #1829 ]
Islam commands justice in all matters and this general ruling
is applied to all children regardless of their sexes. Allah, the Exalted, states
in the Glorious Qur'an:
(Verily Allah enjoins justice and the doing of good,
and liberality to kith and kin, and He forbids all shameful deeds, wickedness,
and injustice and oppression. He admonishes you that you may take heed.) [16:90]
Aishah, the Prophet’s wife and the
mother of the believers (y) said:
A poor woman came to my door carrying two little girls. I
offered them three dates (i.e. since I had nothing else). She gave each of her
two girls a date, and lifted the third one to her mouth to eat. Both her
daughters urged her to feed them more, so she split the last date into two
pieces and gave one half to each of her two daughters. I admired what the woman
had done and told the story to the Prophet of Allah (r)
who said upon hearing it:
“Verily
Allah obligated paradise for her due to this act of hers” or “liberated
her from the Hellfire due to this act of hers.” [Muslim
#2630]
And in another authentic narration he said
at the end:
“Whoever is tested by trials in caring for these daughters,
they will be a cover for him from Hellfire.” [Bukhari #1352 & Muslim #2629 ]
Islam calls for material and
emotional justice and fair treatment from both parents to their children,
regardless of their sexes. A male child is not to be given special preference
over a female child, or vice versa.
The Prophet of Allah (r)
said to one of his companions who had given a present to only one of his
children:
“Did you give all your children like this?”
He said: “No.”
He said: “Fear Allah and be just with all of your
children.” [Muslim #1623]
Islam emphasizes the importance
of taking care of orphans. Being an orphan has a great negative impact on the
mental, spiritual and emotional status of a child. This state may lead an
orphan to deviation or corruption at times, especially if the orphan exists in
a society that does not give him due care, fulfill his needs and be kind and
merciful to him.
Islam pays special attention
to the welfare of orphans, males and females alike. Islam requires that the
immediate relatives of that orphan take good care of him/her. If there are no
relatives, then it becomes the responsibility of the Islamic State to take care
of them, manage their affairs and provide them with care. Allah, the Exalted,
states in the Glorious Qur'an:
(As for the orphans, do not treat them with
harshness.) [93:9]
Allah, the Exalted, also states
in the Glorious Qur'an:
(Verily, those who unjustly eat up the property of
orphans, they eat up only a fire into their bellies, and they will be burnt in
the Blazing fire!) [4:10]
The Prophet of Allah (r)
said:
“Verily I declare the gravity of the
rights of the two weak persons: the orphan and the woman.”
[Haakim #211 & Tabarani]
Here he indicates the great sin to perpetrate any harm or
injustice to these two, who, according to their natural weakness in the
society, often are neglected or denied their rights.
Allah's Prophet (r)
also said:
“Avoid the seven cardinal sins that
cause destruction.”
The companions asked: “O Prophet of
Allah! What are these sins?”
He said: “To associate others in the
worship of Allah, to practice sorcery, to kill a human soul for no just reason,
to deal with interest, to devour the wealth of an orphan, to flee from the
battlefield, and to accuse the innocent, chaste, believing women with
adultery.” [Bukhari #2615 & Muslim #89 ]
Many other Prophetic
statements have been reported as urging believing Muslims to sponsor orphans,
take good care of them, be kind to them, and demonstrate love and affection for
them. For instance he said (r):
"I and the guardian of an orphan are like these two in
Paradise.” He then indicated with his
index and middle fingers. [Bukhari
#4998 ]
Islam cares for the welfare
of those illegitimate children who, through no fault of theirs, are left
without any acknowledgement from their parents. The Islamic government is
required to take care of such children, exactly as any other orphan so that
they may become, by the will of Allah, normal and beneficial members of the society.
As the Prophet of Allah (r) said as a general
ruling of benevolence:
“…you have reward for (doing good to) every living being.” [Bukhari
#2334 ]
Islamic jurisprudence
obligated the fathers (or guardians) to ask the opinion of the daughters when
it comes to marriage, as her opinion is an essential condition for the validity
of the marriage. She is free from any coercion, and may accept the person or
reject a proposal.
The Prophet of Allah (r)
said:
“A divorcee or widow
should not be married without her permission and a virgin girl must not enter
wedlock until she approves.”
They asked: “And how
does she approve O Messenger of Allah?”
He said: “She stays
quiet (i.e. out of shyness but doesn’t indicate disapproval).” [Bukhari
#4843 ]
Imam
Ahmad and others report that 'Aishah (y) said:
A woman came to Allah's Prophet (r)
and said:
“O, Prophet of Allah! My father
offered me in marriage to his nephew to elevate his social status.”
Allah's Prophet (r)
returned the matter to her hands, to accept and approve the marriage or to
reject. The woman said:
“I approve now of what my father has done, but I wanted to teach other
women that their fathers have no right in this (to force them to marry
whoever they want).” [Ahmad #25027]
This is because daughters are precious, as
the Messenger of Allah (r) said in a verified
tradition:
“Do not force the
daughters and girls for they are precious and delightful companions.”
[Ahmad #17411 and verified]
Women as Wives
Allah, the Exalted, says in the Glorious
Qur'an:
(Among His signs is that He created for you wives
from among yourselves, that you may find tranquility in them, and He has put
between you affection and mercy.) [30:21]
One of the great signs of the Benevolence,
Mercy and Power of Allah, the Exalted, is that He created for mankind mates,
one from the other, so that they are comforted, satisfied and assisted by one
another.
The basic foundation of the society is the family, and the
husband and the wife are co-partners in that family upon which a Muslim home is
established. For the success of the family and the tranquility of the home,
Islam grants each spouse certain rights and duties. We will only focus on the
rights of the wives in the following section.
Dowry: A dowry is the right of every bride at the time of marriage. A
marriage contract is not considered legal and complete unless and until a dowry
has been specified. This right cannot be forfeited, even if the bride approves,
until after the marriage contract is completed. The dowry belongs to the woman
entering marriage, and she has the freedom to do whatever she wants with what
she owns after the marriage contract is fulfilled. Allah, the Exalted, states
in the Glorious Qur'an:
(Give the women whom you marry their dowry with a
good heart. If they remit any part of it to you, of their own good pleasure,
take it and enjoy it fully without fear of any harm.) [4:4]
The husband is not allowed to take anything
back from the dowry if he decides later to divorce her; as Allah, the Exalted,
states in the Glorious Qur'an:
(If you intend to replace a wife by another and you
have given one of them a huge sum of gold as dowry, take not the least of it
back; would you take it wrongfully without a right and with a manifest sin. And
how can you take it back while you have entered with intimate relationship unto
each other, and they (the wives) have taken from you a firm and strong
covenant?) [4:20-1]
This verse indicates, significantly, the
sacredness of the marriage vows and the intimacy of the marriage relationship,
as well as the right of retaining the dowry gift in case of divorce. Allah, the
Exalted, also states in the Glorious Qur'an:
(O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit
women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness, that
you may take away part of the dowry you have given them, unless they commit
open illegal sexual intercourse. Live with them honorably; if you dislike them,
it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of
good.) [4:19]
This verse ensures the wife's rights and
complete justice even if the man dislikes her for any reason. This is also
mentioned in an authentic prophetic tradition wherein Abu Hurairah (t) reported that the Messenger of Allah
(r)
said:
Financial
Support: The husband must give honorable and
sufficient sustenance to his household according to his status and means. Allah,
the Exalted, says:
(Let the rich man spend according to his means, and
the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah
has given him. Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him.
Allah will grant after hardship ease.) [65:7]
If a sufficiently rich man refuses to spend on his family in
accordance with his level of means, and the wife was able to take a portion of
his wealth, she may take that which satisfies her essential needs and that of
her children, avoiding wastage and extravagance. Hind bint 'Utbah came
to the Prophet (r) complaining about her
husband, saying:
“My husband is a miser and does not spend enough on me and
his children.”
If a husband came under heavy financial strain and was
incapable of fulfilling his family's financial needs, or if he left his wife
for an extensive period of time, whereby the wife was harmed due to that
absence, the wife is entitled to seek court intervention, if she desires to
annul that marriage, as indicated by the verdicts of the jurists in Islamic
jurisprudence.
The Prophet of Allah (r)
explained these rights when he said:
“Fear Allah in (the affairs of) women for you have
taken them by the oath of Allah, and made their intimate relations legal by the
sacred word of Allah: your right is that no one you dislike should (be
allowed to enter) sit on your bed (or cushions), and if this happens
then you may hit them lightly, and their right is that you feed and clothe them
within proper bounds.” [Muslim #1218]
Justice, Equality and
Fairness: Men who are married to
more than one wife are required to act with justice, fairness and equality in
dealing with them. This includes provision, clothing, housing and sharing his
time, concerns and intimate relations. Allah, the Beneficent, says:
(And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal
justly with the orphan-girls, then marry (other) women of your choice,
two or three or four, but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly
(with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that
your right hands possess. That is better to prevent you from doing injustice.) [4:3]
The Prophet of
Allah (r)
said:
“He who has two wives and leans to one as opposed to the
other will come on the Day of Resurrection with one of his sides fallen.”
[Abu Dawood #2133, Tirmidhi #1141, & others and verified]
This indicates that the
husband must demonstrate justice, fairness and equality amongst all his wives. He
is warned of this dire punishment of paralysis and deformity in the hereafter,
just as he paralyzed and deformed the rights of one of his wives in this world.
It is unlawful for a man to mistreat his wife in any fashion
with abuse, hardships, harassment, undue burdens, insults, beatings, abuse to
her wealth and funds, forbidding her from lawful outings, etc in an attempt to
force her to pay all that she possesses as ransom to her husband so that he may
release her through divorce. Islamic laws do permit the husband to impose
certain restrictions upon the wife that displays some immoral and shameful
conduct, dishonorable to him and his family, and harmful to the entire society
and social order. The purpose of these restrictions is to seek her to return to
proper behavior. Those who continue to act indiscreetly, leading to suspicion
of actual infidelity may be offered divorce, just as she may seek “Khul’”
wherein she asks for dissolving the marriage contract due to his misbehavior.
Protection and
Preservation: A husband must protect and prevent his wife and children
from any possible harm or immorality to the best of his abilities. Allah, the
Exalted, says:
(O you who
believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and
Stones, over which are (appointed)
angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not the Commands they receive
from Allah, and do what they are commanded.) [66:6]
All that protects from unlawful and shameful
deeds is commendable, but extremism is not. He (r)
also said:
There is a kind of
jealousy that Allah loves and a kind which He hates: the kind that he loves is
in the doubtful acts, and the kind he hates is in the acts without any doubt.” [Abu Dawood #2659 & Nasa`e #2558]
Certain types of jealousy are acceptable and
commendable, and others are not, as the Prophet of Allah (r)
explained above, and in a verified tradition he said:
“Verily Allah gets jealous and the believer
gets jealous and the jealousy of Allah is to see a believer doing unlawful
acts…” [Bukhari #4925, &
Muslim #2761]
Companionship,
care and intimate relationships: A husband must live with his wife honorably, kindly and
with respect. He must maintain a decent, clean and acceptable appearance when
he relaxes in his household, just as he likes his wife to do for him at home,
since this is only mutual respect and decency to one another. The Prophet of
Allah (r)
said, encouraging and explaining the comprehensive principle about good
character and behavior:
“The
most complete believers are those with the best characters, and the best of you
are those who are best to their womenfolk.” [Tirmidhi #1162 & Ibn Hibbaan, and verified]
The Messenger of Allah (r)
used to mend his own clothes or shoes and help his wives with their daily
chores. His wife Aishah (y) was once asked:
“What did the Messenger of Allah use to do while at home?”
She
responded: “He used to serve and assist his household, and when he would
hear the call to prayer, he would leave to pray.” [Bukhari #644]
The Messenger of Allah (r)
was always pleasant, kind and caring to all, and would occasionally play and
joke politely with his family members. The Prophet of Allah (r)
said:
“Everything without
containing the remembrance of Allah is just amusement and play except four: to
joke and play with one's wife, to train one's horse, to walk between two
destinations, and to learn swimming.”
[Nasa'e
#8939 and verified]
This
tradition indicates that most pastimes and amusements are built merely for
play, a waste of time and are therefore without reward, except these mentioned
above which are useful, lawful, and fulfill valid beneficial purposes. Allah's
Prophet (r) is also well known for being cheerful and decent in
joking with his family and playing with them. An example of this fun pastime is
when 'Aishah (y) the mother of
the believers, said:
Allah's Prophet (r) raced with me and I won the race before I grew and
gained weight. After I became a bit older and put on weight he raced with me
again and he won. The Prophet of Allah (r) said to me upon winning the race:
“This (win of mine makes up) for that (win of
yours).”
[Ahmad #26320 & Abu Dawood #2578 ]
The Messenger of Allah (r)
is reported to have sat in the house for a short while with his family, talking
to them, giving them company and showing kindness, before going to sleep, and
after offering the late evening prayer. In the authentic traditions we find
that Ibn ‘Abbas (t) narrated:
“I slept at the house of Maymunah (his aunt and the
Prophet's wife) one night to see the Prophet’s worship in night prayer. He
talked with his wife for a period of time, and then slept. Later in the night
he awakened and prayed what Allah had written for him.” [Bukhari
#4293 & Muslim #763 ]
Allah, the Exalted, states in
the Glorious Qur'an:
(Indeed in the Messenger of Allah you have a good
example to follow for whoever has hope in (the Meeting with) Allah and
the Last Day, and remembers Allah much.) [33:21]
Hence, Allah's Prophet (r)
is the best exmple to follow for all of us, the believing Muslims. Muslims
ought to follow the pattern of Allah's Prophet (r)
in all of their affairs, personal and public, throughout their lives.
All the secrets of the wife should be kept and preserved and
her shortcomings hidden. No private affairs should be made public or shared as
a conversation item, even among the closest friends. The Messenger of Allah (r)
said:
“One of the worst people in the sight of Allah on the Day
of Resurrection is a man who has intimate relations with his wife, or a wife
who has the same with her husband, then one of them discloses that privacy to
others.” [Muslim #1437 & others]
It is the right of the married woman to spend the night with
her husband and have sexual fulfillment, satisfaction, and gratification. This
right is one of the most emphasized rights in Islam, equal to the need of man
to have his fulfillment. The husband is required and obliged by Islamic law to
fulfill the sexual rights of his spouse, to ensure the satisfaction of the
spouse so as to prevent her from being inclined towards shameful acts, may
Allah forbid. A spouse, as any other female, has a great need for being loved
and cherished, cared for, and fulfillment of her natural and physical rightful
desires.
Islam forbids husbands from engaging themselves in matters of
physical worship and devotions, like prayers and fasting, in a way that may
detract them from attending to their spouses’ physical, sexual and social
needs. In a famous incident Salman Al-Farisi (t)
reported:
"I went to visit
my brother in faith, Abu-Darda (t)
and upon arrival, I was greeted by his spouse Um Darda (y) who was in an unkempt state. Seeing that, I
asked her, 'What is the matter with you; why are you in this state and not
attentive to your husband?'
She said: 'Your brother, Abu-Darda has no interest in this
world and its affairs. He spends his nights praying and days fasting!'
Upon the arrival of Abu-Darda, who welcomed Salman and offered
him some food, Salman said: 'Why do not you eat with me?'
Abu-Darda said: 'I am fasting.'
Salman said: 'By Allah you must break your fast and eat
with me.'
Abu-Darda broke his fast and ate with Salman. Salman spent
that night with Abu-Darda, and Abu Darda got up during the night to offer some
night prayers whereupon Salman stopped him from doing so, saying: 'Your body
has certain rights upon you, your Lord has certain rights upon you, and your
family has certain rights upon you. Fast some days and break the fast on
others, approach your spouse (for marital relations). Grant everyone
their due right.'
Just before the break of dawn, Salman permitted Abu-Darda to
get up and offer prayers. Both of them rose, performed ablution, offered
prayers and then headed to the Masjid to offer Fajr (dawn) prayer. Upon
finishing the prayer with the Prophet of Allah (r)
Abu-Darda reported to the Prophet about the incident. The Prophet of Allah (r)
said: 'Salman has spoken the truth.'”
[Bukhari #1867 ]
Considering the needs of his wife, a husband should not be
away from home for an extended period of time. Caliph Umar ibn Al-Khattab (t)
after consulting with his daughter Hafsa about the length of the period a woman
can patiently bear her husband's absence, set this period six months.
Abdur-Razaq and others narrated a famous story that:
"Umar ibn
al-Khattab (t) was making night rounds when he heard a
woman lament:
The night has grown long, and its end is dark
and black,
I am sleepless since I have, with whom to
play, no lover,
If there was not (the Lord) whose Throne is
above the Heavens,
The sides of this bed, would roll, shake and
quiver!
In the morning he went to her and asked her
the reason for her poetry, and she answered that her husband had gone with the
soldiers on a long campaign. Umar then conferred with his daughter Hafsa on how
long a woman can be patient for her husband to return. After some moments of
hesitation and embarrassment, in which he convinced her that this question was
for the general good of the Muslims, she replied six months."
After this, Umar would
close a campaign within six months so that they could return to their wives
within that time.
This period is approximate since circumstances may allow it to
be less, or force it to be more. She may tolerate the absence of her husband
for more than six months, or she may demand him to come back before that time.
The husband may not refuse or deny his spouse’s legitimate
request unless he has a valid excuse. A husband must not make any financial
decisions on behalf of his spouse unless she gives him such permission. The
husband has no right to take any of his spouse's financial assets without her
approval.
He should also consult his spouse in the major household
decisions, children's affairs and other mutual affairs. It is not wise to
dictate a man's opinion upon the other members of the family without listening
to the spouse's opinion, as long as her opinion is wise and correct. Allah's
Prophet (
r)
gave us a practical example in this matter. On the “Day of the Pact” with the
Quraish tribe, the Prophet (
r)
commanded his companions to shave their heads and to exit the state of '
Ihraam',
but they were slow and did not hasten to fulfill his command.
Um Salamah (y) his wife, recommended that he do so
himself and then go out before his companions. Allah's Prophet acted upon the
recommendation of his wife, doing what she suggested, and when the companions
saw his action they all hastened in obedience.
A husband must avoid counting every innocent mistake his
spouse may make. For instance, the Prophet of Allah (r)
said:
“A husband should not come to his home from a journey late
at night (i.e. without announcing his arrival in advance).” [Bukhari
#4948 & Muslim#715]
This recommendation is given so that the wife may comb
her hair or wash herself and that the husband may not find his spouse in an
unprepared state, which might become a reason for his displeasure. Of course
with the modern facilities, nowadays husbands have the ability to inform their
wives well in advance, whether the arrival is during the daytime or late in the
night.
It is the obligation of a husband to be kind, attentive,
sharing and caring with his spouse. He must deal with her with honesty,
decency, patience and care, and must take into consideration her human nature.
Women appreciate being loved tenderly and well taken care of. A husband must
demonstrate his affection, love, appreciation, caring, consideration and
genuine keenness of his spouse.
The system of divorce in Islam is designed to protect the
rights and interests of the women, and allow ample opportunity and time for
reconciliation. We will discuss in more detail below, but here we only mention
that in divorce, as in marriage, one must act decent with civil behavior to
assure the right of both parties, as Allah, the Most Wise, says:
(Divorce is two times: then one may retain with
goodness (and reasonable terms), or let go with goodness (and
reasonable terms).) [2:229]
Women as Mothers
Allah, the Most Beneficent, has repeatedly emphasized the
right of parents in general and the mother in particular. Allah, the Exalted,
states in the Qur'an:
(Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but
Him; and that you be good to your parents. If one of them or both reach old age
in your life, do not say to them a word of the faintest complaint or
disrespect, nor shout at them; but address them in terms of honor.) [17:23]
In this verse the right of Allah to be worshiped is placed
adjacent to the right of parents, and all scholars agree that the rights of
parents in Islam are greater and placed before all others except Allah.
Obedience to parents must be given priority over all others
including the wife. This does not mean that the wife is to be humiliated or
insulted in any matter, but only that parents should be given priority in
obedience over all others on the condition that they do not disobey Allah, the Exalted,
and His Prophet (r).
Allah’s pleasure or displeasure with man is but an indication
of the pleasure of the parents with their son or daughter, as the Prophet
indicated (r)
when he said:
“Allah's pleasure with man is through the pleasure of the parents
and His displeasure is through the displeasure of the parents.” [Ibn Hibban #429 & Tabrani and verified]
“Birr ul-Walidain” means being
obedient, good and kind to them, pleasing them and taking care of their needs,
especially in old age. Serving them is considered obligatory service and
preferred over participating in the various acts of volunteer service like in
some form of Jihad (i.e., striving in the cause of Allah). A man came to
ask permission to go for Jihad and the Messenger of Allah (r)
asked if his parents were alive to which he replied in the affirmative. Then he
said to the man:
“So strive for them and exert yourself (jaahid).”
[Bukhari #2842 & Muslim#2549]
This is also confirmed in an authentic tradition that Ibn
Mas'ood (t) narrated:
“I asked Allah's Prophet (r):
'O Prophet of Allah: What is the most beloved act in the sight of Allah?'
He said: “Offering the prayer in its proper time.”
I asked: 'What comes next, O Prophet of Allah?'
He said: “Being good, kind, respectful, obedient and caring
to your parents.”
I further asked: 'What comes next, O Prophet of Allah?'
He
said: “Striving in the cause of Allah.”
[Bukhari
#5625 & Muslim#139]
In another tradition Abdullah bin Amr bin al-Aas (t) narrated:
“A man came to the Messenger of Allah (r)
and said to him: 'O Messenger of Allah! I shall give you my pledge of
allegiance to migrate and strive in the cause of Allah seeking His reward only.'
Upon hearing that the Prophet (r)
asked the man: “Are your parents alive?”
The man said: 'Yes, O Prophet of Allah, both of them are
living.'
He said: “Do you seek the reward from Allah?”
He said: 'Yes.'
He said: “Then go back to your parents and be the best and
kindest companion for them.” [Muslim #2549]
And in another authentic tradition Mu’awiyah
as-Sulami said to the Messenger of Allah (r):
'I want to go for Jihad in the way of Allah.'
The Messenger of Allah (r)
asked: “Is your mother alive?”
He said: 'Yes.'
He said: “Stay with her, for Jannah is under her feet.”
[Ahmad#1557 & Nasa'e #3104 and verified]
This idiomatic expression shows the degree of deference,
respect and obedience that the children should show to their mother to earn her
pleasure by continuous care and service, which leads to attaining the pleasure
of Allah and His Paradise, the promised reward for all rightly guided and
devout believers.
Mothers have greater right and deserve more kindness, help
service, good treatment and companionship than the fathers because the mother
is the first one to care for the children and she suffers more directly with
daily hardships in their upbringing. Bukhari and others report that Abu-Hurairah
(t)
narrated:
“A man came to the Prophet (r)
and asked him: 'O Prophet of Allah! Who is the most deserving and worthy of
my good company?'
Allah's Prophet (r)
answered: “Your mother.”
The man asked: 'Who comes next after her?'
He said: “Your mother.”
The man asked again: 'Who comes next after her?'
He said: “Your mother.”
The man asked again: 'Who comes
next after her?'
He said: “Your father.”
[Bukhari #5625 & Muslim#2548]
This comprehensive lesson is a summary proving that the
mothers deserve the utmost in obedience, benevolence and concern throughout
their lives.
This tradition indicates that a mother has three times the
rights of that of a father due to the sufferings she experiences during the
various stages of her child’s life; in pregnancy, delivery, nursing, and
raising the child.
Allah, the Exalted, states in the Glorious Qur'an:
(And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and good
to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and
hardship. The duration of carrying him (in the womb) and weaning is two
years. So thank Me and to your parents; unto Me is the final destination.) [31:14]
Mothers are given priority over fathers in terms of special
kindness, care, duty, help, and obedience. Both parents, in accordance with
Islamic teachings and principles, are to be obeyed, respected and not differed
with as long as they do not command or order their children to disobey their
Creator. If they order their children to perform an act of disobedience to
Allah then they are to be disobeyed in that particular matter only and a son or
daughter must continue to fulfill their normal duties towards parents in other
matters. They are expected to serve them, help them in their worldly affairs,
and come to their rescue when they need them. Allah, the Exalted, states in the
Glorious Qur'an:
(And if parents strive with you to make you join in
worship with Me that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but
behave with them in the worldly (affairs) kindly, and follow the path of
him who turns to Me in repentance and obedience. Then to Me will be your
return, and I shall tell you what you did throughout your life.) [31:15]
Parents must be respected, obeyed and offered financial
assistance by their children, even if they have a different religion or faith,
other than Islam, as long as they do not demand that their son or daughter do
any act of disobedience to Allah. Asma binte Abu-Bakr (t) said:
My mother, who was still a pagan, came to visit. I went to the
Messenger of Allah (r) seeking his verdict. I
said, “She has come to visit and she is interested in Islam, should I
maintain my relationship with her?”
The Messenger of Allah (r)
said: “Yes, indeed, stay connected to your mother.” [Bukhari
#2477 & Muslim#1003]
Islam’s encouragement to sons and daughters to treat their
mothers with kindness, obedience and care - and to beckon to give any possible
assistance to their parents in their various daily household chores - is
illustrated in the following lengthy tradition wherein Abu-Hurairah (t)
narrated that the Prophet (r) said:
“Only
three infants spoke while still in the cradle. The first was Jesus, son of Mary
(u).
The second was an Israeli at the time of Juraij, a monk who
used to seclude himself in a chamber and devote his time to prayer and the
worship of Allah. One day Juraij's mother asked for his help while he was
engaged with his prayers. He said: 'O Allah! I am confused as to whom should I
give priority; my prayers to you or my mother.'
He continued his prayers, and neglected his mother's
request for help; upon this Juraij's mother left. On the following morning the
mother did the same, and Juraij also continued his prayers and neglected his
mother's call for help. On the following day, Juraij's mother came again to him
and called him to help her, as she had done in the past two days. Juraij did
not respond. Upon seeing that, the mother said: 'O Allah! Have Juraij look at
the faces of prostitutes before he dies.'
At the time Israelis used to highly admire the amount and
manner of Juraij's worship, prayers and seclusion to which he devoted himself.
A very beautiful and attractive prostitute that was popular among the people
proposed to Israelis: 'If you wish, I can tempt Juraij and cause him to have
illegal sexual relations with me.'
The prostitute set out to execute her plan, trying her best
to lure Juraij into illegal sex with her, but her efforts were a failure. She
then approached a shepherd who used to graze his flock close to Juraij's
chamber and offered herself to the shepherd who showed no hesitation. The
prostitute became pregnant and upon delivery accused Juraij of being the father
of the child. The Israelis went to Juraij in his chamber, drove him out,
destroyed the chamber and started beating him.
He asked: "What is the matter? Why are you beating
me?"
They said: "You have fornicated with this prostitute
and she delivered a baby from you, while you pretended to be a pious man."
Juraij said: "Would you bring the baby here and let me
offer my prayers to prove to you that I am not the father of that child."
The Israelis permitted Juraij to offer his prayers, and
they brought the baby. When Juraij finished his prayers, he went to the baby
and pointed to his belly with his hand asking: "Who is your real
father?"
The baby still in the cradle, said: "My father is the
shepherd."
Upon hearing the baby's statement and confession, the
Israelis started kissing Juraij, seeking his blessings and said: "Should
we reconstruct a chamber out of gold for you?"
He said: "No. But just rebuild it of clay and mud as
it was built before."
And
so they did.
The third baby who spoke in the cradle was an infant who
was nursing at his mother's breast when a knight wearing fancy clothes passed
by on a beautiful horse. The nursing mother said: 'O Allah! In the future let
my son be like this knight.'
Upon
hearing this supplication the nursing infant left his mother's breast and said,
while looking at the knight himself: 'O Allah! In the future do not make me
like this knight'. Then the infant went back to sucking.
(The narrator of the Hadith, Abu-Hurairah
t),
said:
'I can remember the Prophet (r)
imitating the infant's nursing his mother's breast by placing his index
finger in his mouth and sucking it.'
Then the mother and her nursing infant passed by a maid who
was being beaten by her master and others accusing her with fornication and
theft. The maid continued to say: 'Allah suffices me and He is My Guardian!'
The mother said: 'O Allah! Do not let my child be like this
woman in the future.'
Upon hearing his mother's statement, the infant left his
mother's breast and said: 'O Allah! In the future let me be like this woman!'
The mother, upon hearing her infant's statement, addressed
him saying: 'Son! What is the matter with you? A nicely dressed knight passed
by on a very nice horse, with a high status and power and I wished that you
would be like him in the future; but you refused to be like him. Then when we
passed by that maid who was beaten and disciplined for an accusation of
fornication and theft, and I prayed to Allah for you not to be tortured and
accused like her, you also rejected my supplication.'
The infant said: 'O Mother, as for the knight, he was a
tyrant and thus I asked Allah not to make me like him. As for the beaten and
accused maid, she had neither fornicated nor stolen. Thus I asked Allah to make
me innocent and pure like her!” [Bukhari #3253]
Disobeying parents, disrespecting them and failing to fulfill
their rights is the greatest of sins. The punishment from Allah of this sin is
not only in the hereafter but in this life as well, as it is narrated that the
Messenger of Allah (r) said:
“Two (kinds of sins) Allah will forward (the
punishment of) in this world: violent transgression and disobedience of
children to their parents.”
[Tirmidhi #2511 & Ibn Maajah #4211 and verified]
The Messenger of Allah (r)
also said:
“Verily,
Allah has forbidden you to disobey your mothers, to prevent people from their
rights, to ask people for what you are not entitled, to bury your baby-girls
alive. He detests for you to gossip, to ask too many questions, or to waste
your wealth.” [Bukhari #5630]
The Prophet (r)
illustrated that being good and kind to parents is essential in the fulfillment
of the supplications and prayers of man throughout his life, as Ibn Umar
(t)
reported the Prophet (r) as saying in a lengthy
tradition:
“Three men of the previous times set out on a journey. When
night approached they slept in a cave at the base of a mountain. Upon entering
the cave, a boulder rolled down and completely closed the cave's entrance. They
talked the situation over and concluded that there was no way out of this
trouble except with prayers and supplications. 'We had better seek the help of
Allah referring to the best and most righteous deed that we have done in our
lives.'
The first man said: 'O Allah! I had two elderly
parents and I never would offer my wife and children anything to eat or drink
before I offered them. One day I had to go a long distance seeking food for my
herd and I was late coming back. Upon arrival I found both of my parents
asleep. I milked the sheep in order to offer my parents their dinner, but since
I hated to wake them up for their drink, I remained standing next to them
carrying the milk pot in my hand waiting for them to wake up. I did not offer
my wife or children anything before I offered them. At the break of the Dawn,
they woke up and by this time my children were at my feet crying for milk. When
they woke up, I offered them their milk. O Allah! If you know that I have done
that for Your sake, please rescue us from this trap.'
Upon that the rock was moved slightly away from the cave's
entrance, but not enough to let them out.
The second man said: 'O Allah! I had a female
cousin from my father's side who was the most beloved woman to me on the face
of the Earth. I had an intense desire for her, but she refused. At one point in
time she came under financial stress due to famine. She came to me asking for
help. I offered her a hundred and twenty golden Dinars so that she would let me
have what I wanted from her. Under the duress of her pressing need and
financial situation she agreed. When I was ready to begin relations with her,
she said, 'O Cousin! Fear Allah! And do not remove the seal of virginity except
in the rightful manner.' Upon hearing that, I got up and did not touch her,
although she was the most beloved and desired woman to me. I did not take back
the gold, which I gave her.'
Then he raised his hands to the heavens and said: 'O Allah!
If You know I have done, what I did, for Your cause and pleasure, please remove
the trap that we are in. Remove the rock from the cave's entrance so that we
can get out!'
Upon which, the rock moved another small distance but still
not enough to enable them to escape.
The third man said: 'O Allah! You know that I once
employed some workers and at the end of the day I paid their wages except to
the one who had left without collecting his pay. I invested his wages in my
business and kept a special note and account for it. The money that belonged to
this worker grew during the years, and after many years the worker came to me
asking for the wage that he did not take on that day of his work. I pointed out
to him large herds of sheep, cows, camels, and slaves and servants, and said to
him: 'All that you see is yours! That is the wage that I owe you!' The poor
worker was stunned and said: 'Please do not ridicule and make fun of me! I am
only asking for my one-day wage. The employer said: 'I am neither ridiculing
you nor making fun of you. This is all yours.' The worker took all that I
pointed out for him and left.'
Then the man raised his hands to heavens and said: 'O
Allah! If I have done what I did for Your cause and pleasure, remove the trap
from which we are suffering.'
Upon that the rock rolled away from the cave's entrance and
the three men left the cave, free once again.' ” [Bukhari #2152]
Islam teaches that seeking the pleasure of the parents, and
being good, kind, helpful, considerate to them, respecting and caring for them
throughout their life, is a major way to expiate and remove the burden of our
sins in this world. Abdullah Ibn Umar (t)
said:
“A man came to Allah's Prophet (r)
and said: 'O Prophet! I have committed a major sin. Do you think that I can
atone for it?'
He asked: "Do you have a mother living?"
The man answered in the negative.
The Prophet (r)
asked the man: "Do you have a maternal aunt living?"
The man answered in the positive. Allah's Prophet (r)
said to him: "Be good and kind to her.”
[Tirmidhi #1904 & Ibn Hibban #435 and verified]
This tradition indicates her right since the maternal aunt, in
Islamic jurisprudence, has a similar status in some respects as of the mother,
since the Prophet of Allah (r)
said:
“The sister of the mother has a status similar to the
mother.” [Bukhari #2552]
These
broad guidelines show the major rights of parents in general, and mothers in
particular, and illustrate that mothers remain uniquely respected in Islamic
teachings.
Women as kinfolks and
neighbors
The same general rights are legislated in Islamic
jurisprudence for women as are required for men. A concern for general public
welfare and mutual support of one another is a trademark of the Islamic social
system. The Prophet (r) said:
“The similitude of the believers in their mutual care, love
and kindness to one another is like one human body: if one organ aches, this
prompts the entire body to be feverish and remain awake.” [Muslim #2586]
And he (r)
said:
“The believers, one to another, are like a firm structure,
supporting one another.” He then intertwined his fingers.
[Bukhari #467 &
Muslim#2585]
A woman as an aunt,
niece, cousin, or any type of relative, regardless of the distance, is included
in the kinfolk to whom Allah commanded to be good, kind and supportive. Allah,
the Exalted, states in the Qur'an:
(Would you then, if you were given the authority, do
mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship?) (47:22)
The Prophet (r)
said:
“A person who severs his kinship ties, will never enter Jannah
.” [Muslim
#2556]
And he (r)
said:
“Charity
to a poor person is one charity, and to a (poor) relative two charities:
a charity and a connection of a relative.” [
Tirmidhi #658 & Ibn Maajah#1844 and verified]
If a woman is a neighbor and she is a
Muslim, she is entitled to two rights: the right of Islam, and the right of a
neighbor. Allah, the Exalted, states in the Qur'an:
(Worship Allah and join none with Him in worship,
and do good to parents, kinfolk, orphans, the poor who beg, the neighbor who is
related to you, the neighbor who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the
wayfarer you meet, and those slaves whom your right hand possesses. Verily,
Allah does not like anyone who is proud and boastful) [4:36]
Islam obligates a Muslim to be good to all his or her neighbors.
The Messenger of Allah (r) said:
“Jibreel (Archangel Gabriel) continued to recommend
me to take care of the neighbor so much so that I thought the neighbor was
going to be made a legal heir.” [Bukhari #5668]
He (r)
also said:
“By Allah he is not a believer, by Allah he is not a
believer, by Allah he is not a believer!
They asked: “Who, O Messenger of Allah?”
He said: “The one from whose harm the neighbor is not
safe.” [Bukhari 5670]
It is also reported by Asfahani in Hilyatul-Awliya
that Talhah (t) said:
"Umar Ibn al-Khattab (t)
went out of his home one night. I decided to follow him to see what he was
doing during the night. I saw him entering a certain house and after a while I
saw him come out and enter another house. In the morning I went to the first
house and entered it to find out who lives there. To my surprise I found an
old, blind and disabled woman. I asked her: 'What did the man, who came in
your home last night, want from you?'
She said: 'This man has been taking care of me for a time
now, serving my needs and helping me and supporting me.'
Talha
said to himself: 'Why should I investigate Umar's actions?'
The Messenger of Allah (r)
said:
“The person caring
for the widows and the poor is like the one who is on the path of Allah,
and as if he said: Like one who stands in prayer without sitting down and
like the one who fasts without breaking the fast.”
[Bukhari
#5038 & Muslim #2982]
These are some distinguishing aspects of honoring, respecting,
caring for, and supporting women according to Islamic teachings that summarize
the rights of women. We believe that women never witnessed this extent of
respect and honor throughout the history of mankind on earth. Some traditions
show that the Islamic law never tolerated crimes or abuses against a woman
during any stage of her life.
Misconceptions about
Women in Islam
There are some misconceptions that have been widely propagated
about women and their rights in Islam. These misconceptions are often repeated
by some that maliciously seek to defame Islam and Muslims. Women throughout the
past centuries of Islam have been honored, respected, and dignified. The crimes
of some who deviate do not reflect upon the principles and laws on which Islam
is based. We shall present some answers to these common misconceptions that
have been publicized about women’s rights in Islam and the position of women in
Islam in general.
Polygyny in Islam
Marriage to more than one wife at the same time – polygyny
-
is a practice as old as the history of man, and is allowed in Islamic law. Among
others, polygyny was well known to the Ancient Hebrews, Egyptians, Greeks,
Persians, Assyrians, Japanese, Hindus, Russians and Germanic peoples.
All previous revealed religions practiced and condoned polygyny.
The Old and New Testaments are at the foremost in the list of the religious
Books that legalized and practiced it. Many of the Prophets of Allah before
Prophet Muhammad (r) entered into plural
marriages. Prophet Abraham had two wives; Prophet Jacob had four wives; and
Prophet David had ninety-nine wives (u).
Prophet Solomon (u) had seven hundred
wives who were free noble women, and three hundred other wives who were slave
women. Nowhere does the law of the Prophet Moses (u)
set or determine a specific number of wives to which a husband was entitled. The
compilers of the Talmud, who lived around Jerusalem,
decided upon a certain number of wives for a man, and some Jewish scholars only
permitted a second wife or more if the first wife was permanently ill or
barren. Still other Jewish scholars did not permit plural marriages at all.
In the New Testament of the Bible, Jesus is commissioned to
comply with and complete the Laws of Moses (u)
and we cannot find a single quote in the Bible that forbids plural marriage.
The prohibition of plural marriages in Christianity came about only as a result
of legislation set forth certain segments of the Christian church, and not by
the original teachings of Christianity itself.
For this reason we find many examples of Christians taking
multiple wives. The Irish king, Ditharmet, for instance, had two wives. King
Frederick the Second had two wives with the church's approval. Thus, it must be
noticed that prohibition was in the hands of the priests of the church, and not
in accordance with any universally recognized original law of Jesus Christ
himself (u).
Martin Luther, the German priest who first established the Protestant sect,
considered plural marriage acceptable and advocated it on many occasions.
Polygyny was well known amongst pagan Arab tribes prior to the
advent of Islam but there was no limitation for the number of wives, like in
the cases of some of the Prophets mentioned above. With the advent of Islam, the
Islamic law condoned polygyny but a man was limited to only four wives, and
specific rules regulated these marriages. There are numerous examples in the
authentic traditions wherein the Messenger of Allah (r)
obligated those who had more than four wives, when they accepted Islam, to
choose four and divorce the rest honorably.
Allah, the
Most Beneficent, said:
(And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal
justly with the orphan-girls, then marry (other) women of your choice,
two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly
(with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that
your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.) [4:3]
Thus we see that strict justice
and fairness in treatment, and avoiding any injustice and wrong practices
against all wives, is stipulated and conditional for those who wish to take
more than one wife.
The
Messenger of Allah (r) warned against favoritism saying:
“He who has two wives and is not just between
them, he will come on the Day of Resurrection with one of his sides fallen.”
[Abu Dawood#2133 & Tirmidhi #1141 and
verified]
Justice and fairness, in
this context, applies to material things such as expenditure, fair division of
wealth, gifts, time, etc. As for emotional matters, such as love and
inclination of the heart towards one wife over the other, it is recognized that
man has no control over his innermost heart and emotions, as they are
involuntary. Allah, the Most Beneficent, said:
( You will never be able to do perfect justice
between wives even if it is your ardent desire (i.e. emotions of the heart), so
do not incline too much to one of them (by giving her more of your time and
provision) so as to leave the other hanging (i.e. neither divorced nor
married). And if you do justice, and do all that is right and fear Allâh
by keeping away from all that is wrong, then Allâh is Ever OftForgiving, Most
Merciful.) [4:129]
'Aishah, the mother of the believers
and the wife of the Prophet (
r),
narrated:
“The Prophet of Allah (r)
would distribute everything justly amongst his wives, then say:
O Allah! This is my division for what I possess, O Allah!
Do not blame me for what You alone possess while I do not (i.e. emotions of
the heart).”
[Abu Da`wood, Tirmidhi & others, but with a weak
chain]
A man who is impotent should not seek any marriage since he is
unable to fulfill its basic requirement. He who knows for sure that he is
financially incapable of supporting another wife and household, is not allowed
to seek another marriage, just as the bachelor who seeks to marry must strive
to earn the wherewithal and must be able to sustain his wife and future
children. As Allah says, and which can be taken as a general rule:
(And let those who find not the financial means for
marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them with His Bounty.) [34:33]
Let us take a look of some conditions that
befall people of any society, and then assess whether polygyny is a good
solution for the problems that occur, and also the practice of polygyny is in
favor of a woman or against her! The following points prove that monogamy in
many situations leads to promiscuity, prostitution or divorce:
1) If a woman is sterile and the husband is interested
in having children, should he divorce the woman and marry a second wife? Or, if
she chooses to stay married to him, should he take a second wife giving them
both equal rights as his lawful wives?
2) If a wife is chronically ill and cannot maintain her
marital relations with her husband, should he keep her and take a second wife
wherein she remains perfectly honored, cared for and provided for by her
husband? Or should he divorce her?
3) Some men are financially strong, and sexually
demanding and potent with higher levels of hormonal testosterone. One wife may
not be able to fulfill his lawful and natural sexual desire. If the menstrual
period or after-birth-confinement period is notably longer than normal, or if
she has no natural sexual desire to match that of the husband, or other
scenarios, what is better for both husband and wife in such a case? Is it
better for the man to remain frustrated and pent up, or seek unlawful sexual
satisfaction outside the marriage? Or to acquire other lawful wives who can
help to keep him chaste and satisfied?
4) In various parts of the world international and
civil wars and other catastrophes often take their toll on men more than women.
Even naturally, the demographic number of females, for various reasons, is
often more than males in most countries. The best example of this is the case
of the First World War, and the Second World War, which claimed the lives of an
astronomical number of men who had participated in the fighting, with tens of
millions of them being killed. In other trouble spots the disproportionate
death ratios are similar. In such a case, if every man had only one wife, what
would be the necessary destiny of the women left without lawful marriage to
satisfy their social, financial and sexual needs? Some women may be tempted to
satisfy their sexual desires in unlawful ways through fornication, lesbian
activities or prostitution, a destabilizing factor for any society. The
abundance of women without husbands, or male relatives to care and protect
their interests, is one factor that helps spread corruption and illegitimate
sexual activities in societies. What is better for a society and for such women
in this case: to remain single and suffer all the consequences of life without
marriage; or to accept to be a second wife with an honest, protective,
honorable and chaste man?
Promiscuity unfortunately exists in all modern societies, but
should it be legalized or condoned, as is the case under man-made laws, with
all the social consequences? In most contemporary societies only monogamous
marriage is legal, but extra martial relations are allowed as a socially
acceptable substitute for the situations mentioned above, in the form of
mistresses, girl friends, escort services, prostitution and common law
marriages. These types of relationships have no merits of their own to stand
on, and if the couple does not eventually get legally married, the illicit
relationship often leads to abuse and conflict. These illicit relationships are
only meant to fulfill sexual interests of the two parties involved without the
responsibilities, and abuse the rights of the women in general. Legally it
imposes no financial, social, or emotional obligations, and if the woman
becomes pregnant, it is her own problem, with the illegitimate children left
without the support of a family and sometimes abandoned to the social service
system. Men, generally, are not obliged to admit the paternity of the child,
thus not obliged to take financial responsibility for the child. Abortions
proliferate in this kind of society. In accordance with Islamic law, a second,
third, or fourth wife enjoys all the rights and privileges of the first wife
without an iota of injustice or dishonor to her.
Adultery, fornication and all extramarital sexual relations
are strictly forbidden in Islam and the prophet took all measures to protect
the society from these social diseases which, if they become widespread, can
only bring harm and destruction upon individuals, families, and the basic bond
holding the society together as a whole. The following tradition shows the
wisdom of the Prophet (r) and patience in
convincing a young virile man, by eloquent analogies, the injustice of double
standards and the evils of wanton desires leading to fornication and adultery.
No one would want his own female relatives to be exploited, used and
abused, so how, then, can they allow themselves to exploit others?
An authentic tradition narrates:
“A young man came to the Messenger of Allah (r)
and asked:
‘O Messenger of
Allah, permit me (with special license) to commit fornication (and
adultery).’
The people started to rebuke him harshly, but the Prophet sat
close to him and asked: ‘Would you like it for your mother?’
He replied ‘No, by Allah, may Allah make me a sacrifice for
you!’
The Messenger of Allah (r)
said: ‘And thus the people do not like it for their mothers,’ and
continued: ‘Would you like it for your daughter?’
‘No’ he replied.
The Messenger of Allah (r)
said: ‘And thus the people do not like it for their daughters,’ and
continued: ‘Would you like it for your paternal aunt?’
‘No’ he replied.
The Messenger of Allah (r)
said: ‘And thus the people do not like it for their paternal aunts,’ and
asked: ‘Would you like it for your maternal aunt?’
‘No’ he replied.
The Messenger of Allah (r)
said: ‘And thus the people do not like it for their maternal aunts.’
Then the Prophet (r) put his hand on the
youth and said: 'O Allah forgive his sin and purify his heart and make him
chaste (fortify his abstinence from sexual sins)'.” [Ahmad#22265
and verified]
One might say
that this tradition is a practical application of the golden rule as mentioned
by the Messenger of Allah (r):
“None
of you [truly] believes until he loves for his brother that which he
loves for himself.” [ Bukhari #15
&Muslim #44]
Polygyny in the Islamic society is limited to four wives only;
the marriages being performed lawfully with a proper marriage contract,
witnesses, etc. The man must bear all financial burdens and responsibilities to
his wives and children that arise from his marriages. All the children are
legitimate and must be raised and cared for under the responsibility of both
parents.
One might ask that, if we permit polygyny for men, why is not
polyandry
permitted for women? The answer to this question is simple since numerous
natural and physical reasons, as indicated above, preclude this as a viable
option. Men in almost all societies of the world have the position, domination
and authority over the households due to their natural endowment and strength. Even
if, for argument's sake, we forego the idea of their strength and suppose that
a woman has two or more husbands, the question will arise: who will have the
ultimate authority and leadership of the home - as this would create harmful
competition, jealousy, anger and hatred among the husbands and result in great
destruction in the society. Moreover, if a woman were allowed to be married to
more than one man, who would be the legal father of the child she bears, and
how would fatherhood be convincingly determined? What would happen to the
demography of the society after some generations of this arrangement? Would the
men be able to remain chaste within their marriage vows in such an arrangement
with one wife, or would he be tempted into promiscuity? The answers to all these
questions are obvious. Since a woman can only become pregnant approximately
once a year and she can get pregnant by only one man at a time, while a man can
naturally impregnate more than one woman on a continual basis, it follows that
it is more logical and natural that the man has more than one wife and that she
doesn’t engage more than one husband.
Above all in polygyny, the man is responsible for the
provision of all of his wives and children, which keeps everything in order,
while this is not the case in polyandry, thus impractical from any conceivable
angle whatsoever.
The following are statements of some Western thinkers who
demanded polygyny and considered it the only solution for the problems they
were confronted with in their societies.
Gustav Le Bon, the well-known French
thinker, says in his book Arabic Civilization:
“Polygyny
enables the society to reduce social crisis, prevents the mistress problem and
cures the society from illegitimate children.”
Annie Besant, in her book on Indian
Religions says:
“I
read in the Old Testament that the closest friend to Allah, whose heart acts
upon the Will of Allah, was polygynous. Moreover, the New Testament did not
forbid polygyny except for priests or ministers of the church, who were
required to keep and maintain one wife only. Old Indian religious books also
permitted polygyny. It is easy, however, to criticize others in their religious
practices. And that is what made people accuse Islam and attack it for its permission
of polygyny. However, it is strange that Westerners are against the restricted
and limited polygyny of the Muslims, while they suffer from wide scale
prostitution and promiscuity in their own societies. A close examining look at
the Western society illustrates that only a few pure, chaste and honest men
respect their clean marital relationships and honor their marriage to one
single wife and have no other sexual relationship outside marriage. It is an
incorrect and inaccurate statement, therefore, to describe a community as
monogamous, in which the men maintain a single marriage, while they are indeed
having mistresses, girl friends and other means of sexual relationship outside
the marriage to their legal and lawful wife. If we were to be fair and just, we
could see that polygyny in Islam protects, honors, maintains and respects women
in society. Polygyny is better than the Western prostitution that permits a man
to have a mistress or a girl friend to fulfill his sexual desires with no
respect to the feelings, emotions, needs and honor of the women. The man will
disown that woman as soon as he gets his satisfaction. The man has no social
commitment or obligation towards the mistress or the girl friend. She is only
meant to fulfill his sexual needs of the moment and give him the company he
needs temporarily. Even though some people declare both polygyny and
fornication or prostitution as bad and unacceptable, yet it is unfair for the
non-Muslims to blame a Muslim for doing the same thing that he does while his
society accepts and condones it."
Jawad, a well-known English scholar,
says:
"The
stiff British system which prevents polygyny is an unfair and unacceptable
system. It severely hurts approximately two million women who have become old
maids. These women have lost their youth and were deprived of having children.
Thus, these women were forced to throw away the moral values as one throws away
the pit of a date."
Mobenar, a member of the previous
French Parliament noted:
"There
are two and a half million French girls now who cannot find a husband, if we
assume that every French young man will marry only one woman. I frankly declare
what I truly believe is that ‘a woman will not enjoy a healthy life unless she
becomes a mother.’ I believe that any law which passes a judgment that such a big
number of the members of a society should live opposing, contradicting and
neglecting to fulfill the natural laws of man on the Earth is but a cruel and
savage law that contradicts the simplest meaning of justice and fairness."
In 1959, the United Nations published a
special publication stating:
"This
publication has proven, by numbers and statistics, that the entire world is now
facing a growing problem of illegitimate children, as opposed to legitimate
children. The number of illegitimate children has increased 60% in some
countries. In Panama,
for instance, the percentage of illegitimate births soared to 75% of the total
number of births in the country. This means that three out of every four
children are illegitimate, born outside of wedlock. The highest percentage of
illegitimate births is stated to be in Latin America."
At the same time, the publication proves and indicates that
the number of illegitimate births in the Islamic world is almost nil (in
comparison with other countries). The editor of the publication goes on to say
that Islamic countries are protected against such social problems and disease
due to the fact that the people practice polygyny.
Power of Guardianship in the Marriage
Contract
In Islamic jurisprudence one requirement
for a sound marriage is the total agreement of the woman concerned.
The Prophet of Allah said (r):
“An ‘ayyim’ (a divorcee or a widow) must not
be wedded unless she is asked, and gives her approval. And a virgin must not be
wedded unless she is consulted.”
It was asked: “O messenger of Allah, How is her permission?”
He said: “If she remains silent.”
[ Bukhari
#4843 & Muslim #1419]
If a woman is coerced into accepting an undesired marriage,
she is entitled to present her case before a Muslim judge to seek annulment. A
woman by the name of
al-Khansa bint Khadam, who had been previously
married (and was now divorced or widowed), came complaining to the Messenger of
Allah (
r)
that her father had forced her to marry a person she despised. He disapproved
and invalidated it.
Another requirement is that she does not give herself in
marriage to anyone without guardianship. Her father, or in case he is not
alive, her grandfather, paternal uncle, brother or even her mature son, or the
ruler of the State, must act as her guardian in this affair to assure her
rights are protected and to sign the marriage contract along with her
signature. His role is to make sure that the groom is sincere and of standard,
that she has a proper dowry, and that two witnesses testify to the contract
which she willfully accepts. All these measures are to protect her rights and
the sanctity of marriage.
The Messenger of Allah (r)
made this perfectly clear when he said:
“There is no marriage without a guardian.”
[ Abu Dawood #2058 & Tirmidhi #1101 and verified]
And in another version:
“There is no marriage without a guardian, and
the ruler is the guardian for those who have no guardian.”
[Ahmad #2260 & Ibn Maajah #1889 and verified]
Therefore, if she elopes and marries herself, this marriage is
considered unlawful, as the Prophet (r)
declared:
“Any woman who marries without the consent of
her guardian, then her marriage is nullified, then her marriage is nullified,
then her marriage is nullified, and if he has consummated the marriage then she
must receive a dowry from him for what he has made lawful of her private parts,
and if they fall into dispute then the ruler is the guardian for those who have
no guardian.”
[ Abu Dawood #2083 & Tirmidhi #1102 and verified]
As mentioned above in the rights of daughters, whether a
virgin or otherwise, the right of a woman is to accept or reject any marriage
offer of her own free will. The institution of guardianship is only to protect
her interests. The fact that the ruler or governor becomes her legal guardian
to assure that all is in order and that no criminal injustice is perpetrated
reinforces the sacredness of the marriage contract and the sanctity of her
rights in Islam.
Since the woman remains in a position of natural weakness,
Islamic jurisprudence lays down principles and laws to protect her interests
and welfare and preserve her rights. The father, the mother and other concerned
relatives, if need be, help select the right and most suitable husband for her,
since all seek her happiness and none wish her to be victim of a failed
marriage. The goal of marriage is to establish an everlasting relationship
between a male and a female and a loving and beneficial home for the children,
not mere gratification of certain desires. Since women are, in general, more
emotional than men and more easily affected and tempted with appearances rather
than the deeper realities, Islamic jurisprudence gives the right to the
guardian to refuse and reject proposals if the suitor is not deemed a sound and
sincere match. Male guardianship in this case is only natural given their role
of authority and responsibility. Moreover, it cannot be denied that men, being
of the same gender, have a better ability to perceive qualities of other men in
certain areas, and are more capable of finding those characteristics of a man
that suit his daughter or the woman under his responsibility of guardianship.
Of course he seeks counsel of the wife and other concerned females in the
process of selection of the bridegroom. If an appropriate man proposed for
marriage and the guardian refused for no valid reason, then the guardianship
can be contested in the court of law. The guardianship is then given to the
nearest responsible male relative of the woman, or, in case she has no
responsible male relatives, the Muslim Judge assumes guardianship.
In the final analysis, the true measurement of a suitable
match in marriage is the statement of the Prophet of Allah (r):
“If a person comes to you to propose a
marriage and you are pleased with his religion and morals, then marry him. If
you fail to do so, great affliction will take place on earth, and corruption
will be widespread.”
[ Tirmidhi
#1085 and verified]
A man with a sound and good understanding of his Islamic
commitment, with good moral standards will honor his wife and dignify her, and
treat her justly with decency even if he does not love her.
Financial and Moral Responsibilities of the Household
Allah, the Exalted, stated in the Glorious
Qur'an:
(Men are protectors and maintainers of women because
Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend to
support them from their means.) [4:34]
This verse emphasizes that the financial and moral
responsibilities of a household is the husband’s responsibility. The natural,
physical and social qualities of men demand that they take charge of these
responsibilities since they are of the stronger gender and physically fit to
work being free from the burden of menses, pregnancy, nursing and early
childrearing. The man is the “guardian” of his own household - a shepherd of
his flock in the idiom mentioned earlier - and he will be asked and accounted
about all his responsibilities. Women by their natural constituency are the
weaker sex, built biologically, emotionally and socially for their role as child
bearer and homemaker. They are more
endowed with intuition and emotional intelligence. This is their natural
feminine role that is fully honored and protected. Due to the pains and burdens
of menses, pregnancy, delivery, nursing, and continual child-care, women often require
various periods of confinement for rest, and they are not required to take on
additional financial and vocational responsibilities for the sustenance and
maintenance of the household. All these concerns affect the mental state of a
woman and will be reflected in her life, attitude and behavior. This is a
natural state prescribed in many civilizations, but often with many injustices,
as mentioned earlier.
'Abbas Mahmoud al-'Akkad,
the well-known Egyptian writer, notes:
"Women
have a very special emotional make-up that does not resemble the emotional
make-up of man. The companionship of a little infant or child requires a lot of
similarity and resemblance between the child's mentality and his companion, the
mother. She has to understand what he wants, what he needs and how he thinks
and feels. Therefore, to fulfill this requirement, a woman is much more
responsive to emotions. This makes it difficult for a woman, when compared with
man, to be firm, fierce and determined when needed."
Dr. Alex Liberelle, a Nobel Prize
winner, says while illustrating the natural organic differences between man and
woman:
"Matters
that differentiate between man and woman are not limited to sexual organs, the
presence of the womb and pregnancy. These matters are also not limited to the
difference of teaching methods of man and woman. In fact, these differences are
of basic nature. The tissues of the body in both male and female are different.
The chemistry of the bodies is also different in both. Certain glands excrete
certain secretions that are only suitable for a specific gender. The woman is
completely different from man in terms of the chemical material secreted from
the ovary inside the woman's body."
Those who call for complete equality between men and women
disregard basic facts and essential differences. Advocates of women’s equal
rights demand the same type of education to be given to both male and female,
and same type of jobs, tasks, responsibilities, positions to be offered, etc. This
absurdity neglects woman’s nature and essential physical, mental, emotional,
and social traits. Every cell of the body of a woman has a feminine quality,
nursed by female hormones, just as a man has his distinct qualities and
hormones. Are they blind when they wish to be equal? They don’t see that each
organ of every man and woman are unique in and of themselves, and different
from each other. The male and female central nervous systems function in exact
precision to help their respective roles in human life. We must accept natural
laws and movements as they are, without attempting to change them to seek
unnatural obstruction or interference with them. For their own benefit, both
men and women should build upon their natural talents and gifts, and never
deviate into imitating those of the other sex, which only leads to abuse of
themselves and others. Another factor is that it is a well-established fact
that the bone structure and muscles of men are naturally heavier and more powerful
than those of women. Men can perform more laborious and manual jobs, while
women are not physically able to show comparable physical endurance. This is
another proof that men are naturally equipped and qualified to assume the role
of leadership over financial and vocational responsibilities of the household
in consultation with their best second-halves (their wives), which is also a
general rule in Islam, as mentioned previously.
Wife Disciplining
Allah, the Exalted, stated in the Glorious Qur'an:
(… As to those women on whose part you see
ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next,) refuse to share their
beds, (and last,) beat them (lightly, if it is useful). But if
they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance).
Surely, Allah is Most High, Most Great.) [4:34]
Islam forbids beating women and warns strictly against it. The
Prophet (
r)
never beat any of his wives or servants, as his wife
Aishah reported in
an authentic tradition
.
Women are, in general, weaker than men in their physique and stamina. Women are
often unable to defend themselves against violence. Although beating of women
is generally forbidden, Islam permits the beating of wives in a restricted and
limited sense only as a final solution and acceptable valid reason when all
else fails. This is analogous to spanking children when all else fails and they
must learn a lesson in obedience for their own protection and success.
In the verse we quoted, Allah deals with the case of a wife
who behaves immorally towards her husband’s rights. The treatment of this
extremely sensitive issue comes in gradual stages, as we have noticed from the
verse. Medicine, or treatment of any ailment, can be very bitter at times. But
an ill person will take the remedy gladly and bear the bitterness of the
medicine in order to be cured from his illness. The remedy to treat a wife
blameworthy of immoral behavior, as we have noticed, comes in three gradual
stages:
First stage: The stage of advice, counseling and
warning against Allah's punishment. A husband must remind his wife of the
importance of protecting his rights in Islam. This stage is a very kind and
easy one. But, if this treatment does not work and proves to be ineffective,
then the husband may resort to the next stage.
Second stage: To leave the wife's bed. Or, if one
sleeps in the same bed with her, he will turn his back to her, not touch her,
talk to her or have intercourse with her. This stage, as noticed, combines both
strictness and kindness, although it is a very harsh practice on both. But, if
this treatment does not work, then the husband may resort to the final stage of
discipline explained below.
Third and final stage: Beating without hurting,
breaking a bone, leaving black or blue marks on the body, and avoiding hitting
the face or especially sensitive places at any cost. The purpose of beating her
is only to discipline and never retaliation or with desire to hurt by any
means. Islam forbids severe beating as punishment. The Prophet (r)
said:
“None of you should beat his wife like a slave-beating
and then have intercourse with her at the end of the day”. [ Bukhari #4908]
This treatment is proved to be very effective with two types
of women, as psychologists have determined:
The first type: Strong willed, demanding and
commandeering women. These are the type of women who like to control, master
and run the affairs of their husbands by pushing them around, commanding them
and giving them orders.
The second type: Submissive or subdued women. These
women may even enjoy being beaten at times as a sign of love and concern.
G. A. Holdfield, a European
psychologist, in his book Psychology and Morals states the following:
"The
instinct of submission strengthens at times, in the human being so much that a
submissive person will enjoy seeing someone overpowering him, over-ruling him
and being cruel to him. Such a submissive person bears the consequences of his
submission due to the fact that he enjoys the pain. This is a wide spread
instinct amongst women, even if they do not realize it. For this very reason,
women are well known for bearing more pain than men. A wife, from this type of
women, becomes more attracted and admiring of her husband when he beats her.
Nothing, on the other hand, will sadden some women, as much as a soft, very
kind and very obedient husband who is never upset regardless of being
challenged!"
Beating, according to the Islamic teachings, is listed as the
last and final stage of disciplining methods. Islam does not permit, allow or
even condone beating unless the first two stages are proven to be ineffective.
Moreover, beating must not be employed as a remedy, if a wife prefers to be
divorced.
The three stages of discipline stated in the verse of the
Glorious Qur'an are only meant to be a means of discipline for the protection
of the family unit. One form of destruction of a family is when the wife
becomes a victim of divorce. Islam aims to relieve unnecessary pains, problems
and conflicts.
The practice of beating wives is in other non-Muslim societies
is far more brutal and frequent. Wife
beatings in theses societies are often with intent to inflict pain and harm to
the wife; something strictly prohibited in Islam as mentioned previously. Recent statistics show that in Britain,
the number of wives who have been brutally beaten by their husbands has risen
from 6,400 in 1990 to 30,000 in 1992. This number jumped to 65,400 women in
1995. Statisticians expect this number to double 124,400 towards the end of the
twentieth century! These statistics, as the report says, were based on
information gathered from the police department. But, what about the unreported
cases of wife beating, and the beating of women in general, which are not
reported!
Mrs. Annie Besant compared Islamic
Laws and Western legislation on women's rights and said:
"Islamic
Laws are among the best laws known to the world, insofar as woman is concerned.
It is the most fair and just legislation. It exceeds the Western legislation
concerning real estate, inheritance and divorce laws. It acts as a guardian for
women's rights. Phrases such as "One Wife is Sufficient for a man",
and "Polygamy", mystified people and turned them away from the real
misery which Western women suffer from and live through. Many husbands left
their wives after they got what they wanted from them. In fact such men show no
care, concern or mercy for their wives."
On Honor Killings
In some traditional and tribal custom based societies, custom
gives the male such a dominant role that if the honor of his womenfolk are
perceived, even without proper verification, to have been violated by an action
of promiscuity on her part, the man kills her to protect his honor. This
situation has been hyped up in the media because some unscrupulous people who
continue to do this and others who allow it to continue.
The answer to this is simple. To begin with, people are not
allowed to take the law into their own hands and punish in this manner based on
unverified accusations of promiscuity, as the rules of testimony in Islam are
very strict. Therefore, this is a direct violation of the Islamic law. If the
court assesses the case as an outright premeditated murder, after considering
all circumstances and receiving proofs conclusively, it becomes punishable by
the Islamic law of equity and retribution in cases of premeditated murder. The
unfortunate reality is that because secular laws are in place in these
countries, and because politicians appease tribal and other leaders for
political advantages, these unjust customs are allowed to continue. If the
Islamic laws were established and executed, the severe punishments for
fornication, adultery, murder, etc, would satisfy the Muslim population; that
justice has been done, and this would curtail the sense of vengeance that one
needs to have recourse to.
Power to Divorce is with the Husband
In pre-Islamic times divorce
was a weapon used against the woman solely in a man’s hands; when he
wanted to harm the wife he would seek to divorce her and then take her back as
he pleased. There were no set rules and the woman had no rights in the matter. So
Allah (U)
invalidated this injustice by revealing the verse which says:
(Divorce
is two times: then one may retain with goodness (and reasonable terms),
or let go with goodness (and reasonable terms).) [2:229]
As a way to help preserve the marriage even when some
differences occur, a Muslim man following the Sunnah (way)of the Prophet (r)
may only divorce his wife while she is clean from menses wherein he has not had
sexual relations with her in that month. Since this requires some waiting
period before the pronouncement of divorce,
this allows time for any anger to subside or misunderstandings to be
cleared up, and gives time to other family members or mediators to help in reconciliation.
If they continue on the path towards divorce, then she must wait three
menstrual periods. During this time, he may “take her back” honorably into
marriage. This will be counted as the first divorce and return. If the time
lapses and he lets her go her way, she will be fully divorced for the first
time, and is free to marry another man. Her first husband may remarry her with
a new contract, if they both choose that option. If he does, and he then again
divorces her, he may “take her back” her within the three menstrual periods,
and this will be two divorces and returns. After two divorces and returns, if
he divorces her a third time this is called the final and separating divorce
wherein they are not allowed to remarry unless she waits the specified time of
three menstrual cycles and then freely marries a different man with no
intention of availing herself to this means in order to be able to lawfully
marry her previous husband . If, for any reason, she becomes divorced from that
man, only then, and on the condition that no shady pre-arranged dealings were
made to circumvent this rule, can she re-marry her first husband. All these
measures are designed to help protect the family and sanctity of the marriage
bond, and the rights of the man and the woman. The waiting period is to
determine that she is free from pregnancy. In case of pregnancy, the woman has
to wait until after delivery before she marries a second husband.
Divorce is ultimately allowed in Islam to escape from any harm
caused by the irreconcilable differences. It may become necessary in certain
cases. There are strict rules about divorce to protect the interests and rights
of the parties involved: the husband, wife and children. Some of them have been
mentioned above.
Divorce
might be forbidden in the case where it would not solve the problem and cause
undue harm to one of the two marriage partners, without achieving a needed
benefit.
Islamic jurisprudence obligates that in order to avoid
divorce, solutions should be sought when critical disputes and differences
occur between husband and wife; Allah, the Exalted, states in the Glorious
Qur'an:
(And if a women fears cruelty or desertion from her
husband, there is no sin on both of them if they make terms of peace between
themselves; and making peace is better.) [4:128]
Allah, the Exalted, also says:
(If
you fear a breach between them appoint two arbitrators, one from his family and
the other from her family: if the two of them both wish for correction, Allah
will cause their reconciliation. Indeed Allah is Omniscient and Well-Acquainted
with all things.) [4:35]
One of the most natural and logical ways to help maintain a
successful marriage is to let the man have more control over the divorce
process than the woman because it is the man who is financially obliged to take
care of his wife, household and family, and has ultimate responsibility of
their welfare. Therefore, he must rationally assess the situation, grave
consequences, and huge financial and emotional loss that will result from a
divorce. The husband will lose the dowry he spent for the marriage, and will
have to pay the alimony and child support, as well as any newly acquired
expenses from a new marriage on top of that. Thus, with all these
considerations, he will not act just out of quick anger, fickleness or passing
emotion.
A man is more capable - at least
theoretically - of controlling his flitting emotions and personal reactions
when upset about the smaller issues in life, especially in terms of disputes
with his wife. Divorce should never be a quick reaction for some suffering,
misunderstandings, or differences of viewpoints, but only as a last resort and
final solution when life becomes dangerously problematic and intolerable,
wherein both spouse are afraid that they will not be able to abide by the
limits set by Allah and His Prophet about respectable behavior with one
another.
Islamic jurisprudence permits the wife to have her marriage nullified
upon her request if the husband abuses her physically or verbally. She is also
entitled to have the marriage nullified for the following general reasons:
a)
if the husband is impotent and cannot
perform his marital duties,
b)
or if the husband for any reason, refuses
to have sexual relations with his wife and fulfill her lawful needs,
c)
or
is afflicted with a disabling terminal illness after the marriage,
d)
or
contracts any type of venereal or reproductive disease that may harm the wife
or make her lose her desire to be with her husband. Thus, we see that the woman
is given the right to seek separation from her husband for legitimate reasons
in many situations, exactly as the man has the right to seek divorce. If a wife
reaches the extreme limits of patience and abhors her husband, feeling that
life is unbearable, then she has the right to divorce. This form of divorce is
called annulment, or “Khul’a”, wherein she pays compensation by
returning her dowry or some other property. A competent Muslim judge will look
into the individual case if the husband refuses to accept the wife's request and
if the request is considered sound and valid, will pass a judgment in favor of
the woman.
Women's
Right of Inheritance
Allah, the Exalted, stated in the Glorious
Qur'an:
(Allah commands you as regards to your children's (inheritance);
to the male, a portion equal to that of two females.) [4:11]
Those who misunderstand Islam claim that Islam does injustice
to women in terms of inheritance. They opine that it is unfair to grant the
male a double to that of the female even though they are children of the same
parents. Allah, the Exalted, offered a full and detailed method of women's
inheritance in the Qur'an and Sunnah,
and if an unbiased student of knowledge reflects on the details, he or she will
discover the fault of this opinion.
To begin with,
Allah has determined all the shares of all the relatives in respect to their
relationship to the deceased. As He the Most Wise said:
(There is a share for men and a share for women from
what is left by parents and those nearest related, whether the property is
small or large, an obligatory share.) [4:7]
Allah has stated three types of shares for a woman's
inheritance as follows:
a.A woman will have an
equal share as that of the man.
b.
A woman will have an equal share to that
of the man, or a little less.
c. A woman will have
half the share of a man.
This means that the minimum of her shares is half, and
considering that a female has no continual financial responsibilities as a
child, sister, wife or mother, and these responsibilities are always on the men
of the family, this is very generous indeed.
Those who are interested in the details about this subject
should review the discussions in books about the special branch of Islamic
knowledge called "The science of inheritance and division of the estate”.
These books deal with all the different ways of dividing an inheritance, and the
proper share of all relatives according to the Qur’an and Sunnah. Prior to passing any judgment about "unfair treatment"'
of Islam to women in terms of inheritance", one must examine this subject
closely.
In contrast to all the other societies, Islamic Jurisprudence
stipulates the rules and regulations about all the affairs of a man, from big
to small, to bring harmony to their lives. Just like a person has specific
instructions for how to live and use his money in his lifetime, his wealth
after his death is dealt with the same way. Unlike other social systems, a
person can generally do with his wealth in his life however he wants but his
will has certain restrictions according to the Islamic Law. Through his will he
can only give 1/3 of his wealth to whoever he wants, all the rest is
distributed according to the law of inheritance derived from the Qur’an.
In the famous tradition; the companion Sa’ad
ibn Abi Waqqas was ill and requested to bequest the majority of his wealth
as charity, or a half of it since he was wealthy and only had one daughter. The
Messenger of Allah (r) forbade him and only
allowed him to give a third, and said :
“A third and a third is a lot, and it is better
that you leave your heirs wealthy rather than leave them needy begging from the
people. You will not spend anything seeking Allah’s countenance but you receive
a reward for that expenditure, even the morsel of food you put into your wife’s
mouth.”
[ Bukhari #2591
& Muslim #1628]
An important point to note is that in many civilizations,
man-made laws of inheritance are at the whim of a powerful individual; to give
or deprive, as one will, however unjustly. Moreover, in these societies often
there is no law that obligates a man with
financial responsibilities and relieves the women from them. On the other hand,
according to Islam, a male is required to take care of the entire financial
needs of the female dependents of the family until they are married. From the
time a female marries, her financial responsibilities are her husband's
obligation. After the death of the husband, the son or other male relative is
obliged to care for the widow.
Therefore, demanding a "fair", "just" or
"equal" share of inheritance for both male and female Muslims, who do
not have equal financial obligations and responsibilities, is an unfair and
unjust demand. It is only fair and just to give preference to a male heir, in
light of his financial responsibilities, over the female heir from the
inheritance of the father, mother or others. Considering all this, the fact
that a female is still entitled by the Islamic law to a half share of the
portion of inheritance received by the male, and sometimes an equal share, is
indeed fair, just, and generous.
Gustave Le Bon says in his book Arab
Civilization:
“The
principles of inheritance which have been determined in the Qur'an have a great
deal of justice and fairness. The person who reads the Qur'an can perceive
these concepts of justice and fairness in terms of inheritance through the
verses I quoted. I should also point out the great level of efficiency in terms
of general laws and rules derived from these verses. I have compared British,
French and Islamic Laws of inheritance and found that Islam grants the wives
the right of inheritance, which our laws are lacking while Westerners consider
them to be ill-treated by the Muslim men.”
Also, in accordance with Islam, the men of the family shoulder
all expenses resulting from payment of “blood-money”, and this is another
subject of concern that we will discuss now.
Blood Money
In the case of murder, capital punishment is
an option for both male and female since they are equal in the sight of the
Islamic law. However, in the case of accidental death, Islam stipulates that
the blood money to be paid for a woman's accidental death is half of that which
is paid for a man. The reason that the blood money paid to the heirs of the
female victim is half of that paid for a man's killing in the case of
accidental killing is because the damage done to the family by the man’s death
is more of a financial loss. The family has lost a breadwinner who as we
explained above is financially responsible for the entire family. No one denies
the remorse of loss of life, but the financial loss to the family by the demise
of a male provider is greater compared to the loss of the female member. The
family members, whose mother is killed accidentally, for instance, miss their
mother's love, care and affection, matters that most men cannot provide as well
as the mother, but the financial situation would not be effected as much as
when the father is killed. It must be remembered that blood money is not a
price or value of the person, but only an approximate compensation for the
killed to alleviate the emotional and financial hardship caused to the family
by the loss of that person.
Testimony of Women
Allah, the Exalted, stated in the Glorious
Qur'an:
(And get two witnesses out of your own men. And if
there are not two men (available), then a man and two women, such as you
agree for witnesses, so that if one of them (two women) errs, the other
can remind her.) [2:282]
Allah clarifies to assure the rights of others that
testimonies will not be valid unless two men, or one man and two women offer
them.
Divine wisdom has granted women, in general, very sensitive
emotions, tender feelings, and a predisposition towards care and love of other
members of the family. This makes a woman capable of her natural task of
childbearing, nursing, taking care of all the needs of the young child, etc.
Based on these emotional characteristics of the woman, she might very well
follow her emotional inclinations and swerve from harsh realities due to an
emotional involvement in a case. A woman's loving and kind feelings might
overcome what she has witnessed, and thus she may distort the story of her
witness and testimony. At the same time the
biological changes that occur in her body due to menses, pregnancy, child-birth
and post-natal conditions reduce the sharpness of her memory and may make her
forget the details of the issue. Therefore, a divine precautionary
measure was established to eliminate any shortcoming on a woman’s part in any
case of testimony. We would like to point out here one of the essential
principles of the legal and judicial system in Islam, which states that the
case is not valid for proceedings if a doubt arises in the case. Therefore, the
strength of two female witnesses is intended to eliminate this doubt.
Besides testimony that involves other people’s rights, Islam
has granted women full financial freedom in terms of independence and financial
decision-making, and made her exactly equal to men in that regard. However,
woman's natural role in life, in raising children and caring for the family
requires her to stay in the home for longer and extended periods in comparison
to men, thus limiting her knowledge and experience to the affairs she stays
involved in most of her life.
It is a false accusation to say that making the testimonies
and witnesses of two women equal to one man in certain cases is an insult to
the woman's intelligence and a dishonor to her integrity. If that were the
case, a single woman's testimony would, likewise, not be acceptable in the
other affairs of women. Islamic jurisprudence accepts a woman's testimony in
all affairs that are private like in confirming the virginity of a woman,
delivery of a child, clarification of female sexual defects, and other matters
that mandate examination due to a dispute. At the same time, it must be
remembered that Islamic law rejects a man’s lone testimony in the least
significant financial matters such as lending or borrowing funds and other
transactions, since there must be two. The critically serious cases, wherein a
woman's testimony must be doubled, is established in order to preserve and
prove the rights of individuals in the society based on the reliability and
irrefutability of that testimony.
Note that testimony in the Islamic law in itself is not a
privilege but a burden that many attempt to avoid, and for this reason Allah (U)
commanded people to offer their testimonies and not to seek to escape or
withhold it. Allah (U) stated in the Glorious
Qur'an:
(And the witnesses should not refuse when they are
called on (for evidence).) [2:281]
The address here is general for both male and female. Many
people all over the world try to avoid becoming a witness, and attempt to
escape involvement in offering testimonies, because one is required to go to
the court, sit on the witness stand, take an oath to tell the truth, be
cross-examined and many other burdens. Financial and physical burdens or
threats may result from being a witness and offering testimony. Islam therefore
aims at eliminating many of these burdens from the woman, unless she has a
partner who witnesses as she does, in matters involving many forms of
testimony.
A man's single testimony is not acceptable in financial
matters, since there must be two male witnesses to prove the financial right of
a claimant, or one man and two women. We have never heard that anyone
considered this requirement an insult to man's intelligence or contrary to his
rights. This proves that the requirement is for the protection against false
accusations and mistakes.
There are some cases when the testimony of each is totally
equal. For instance, the testimony of a wife is exactly equal to the testimony
of her husband when a husband accuses his wife of committing adultery and he
has no evidence to prove his claim. Allah (U)
stated in the Glorious Qur'an:
(As for those who accuse their wives, but have no
witnesses except themselves, let them present their testimony four times, that
by Allah he is one of those who speak the truth. By the fifth (testimony,
he invokes) the Curse of Allah on himself, if he is of those who tell a lie (against
her). She will avert the punishment (of stoning to death) from her if
she bears witness four times by Allah, that he (her husband) is telling
a lie. And the fifth (testimony) should be that the Wrath of Allah be
upon her if he (her husband) is speaking the truth.) [24:6-9]
Travel
Without a Male Guardian
The Prophet (r)
said:
“A woman must not travel alone without a mahram. No
man may enter the house of a woman unless there is a mahram with her.”
A man stood up and asked Allah's Prophet (r):
“O Messenger of Allah! My wife is going on Hajj( pilgrimage), while I want to participate in a battle,
what should I do?”
The Prophet of Allah (r)
said: “Go out with her.”
[ Bukhari
#1763]
For the protection of the person and honor of women, the
Islamic rule encompassed in this tradition forbids any woman, whether she be
young or old, single or married, to travel alone without (mahram) as a
travel companion. This man must be of those to whom she is permanently
prohibited to marry due to their close blood relationship, such as a father, a
brother, an uncle, an elder son or nephew after he has reached puberty, or a
husband, etc. Some people might say that this regulation restricts the freedom
of the woman and her basic right of movement. The purpose of this rule is not
to prevent her ravel but to free her from harm and molestation, and thus to maintain
and preserve her right of dignity. Traveling entails many hardships and
dangers, and since women are physically weaker than men, and moreover she may
have circumstances of pregnancy, menses, nursing and childcare, or some ailments,
she is in more need of help and service. Also women are generally more
emotional and impressionable; they are more susceptible to unscrupulous and
characterless men in search of victims.
The Prophet of Allah (r)
expressed this most eloquently when he said to a man singing travel songs with
a beautiful masculine voice in order to help the steady movement of the riding
and pack animals, as per the custom of travelers:
“Go gently, O Anjashah, you’re urging on the delicate
glassware.” [Bukhari #5857]
The phrase “delicate glassware” describes the fragileness and
softness of the women’s nature, who were the riders in that caravan, easily broken
or disturbed.
There are, as we all know, wicked minded, evil and violent men
who lurk about and seek to take advantage of women whom they find susceptible,
gullible or traveling alone. Such wicked-minded men are of course either
interested in robbery, trickery, seduction, or rape. Therefore, a woman is very
much in need of someone to care for, protect and fulfill her special needs
while traveling, providing her the needed security, service and attention to
help her in the difficulties and ward off strangers and potential predators.
The “mahram” of a woman in Islam protects and serves with utmost
sincerity since this is a natural obligation on him, rewarded by Allah (U).
We find that many civilizations have similar rules about escorting women in
travel, but often they allow other than the “mahram” to escort her since
they do not differentiate between a mahram and a non-mahram in
their cultures, which results in terrible stories. Therefore, and upon this
line of reasoning, forbidding a woman to travel alone, and mandating a male
escort who must be a “mahram,” is not in any way a humiliating
restriction or insult to her abilities, but, in fact, is an honor that she is
served, protected and given companionship by a male escort who has to give her
preference over his personal matters and needs.
Women's
Right to Work
As mentioned above, Allah created all mankind from a single
male and female, and placed natural love and affection for one another in order
that they cooperate to build families and relationships of families. We see in
nature that Allah bestowed the male of each species with superior power and
endurance in order that he may dominate in certain spheres and seek provisions
and protection for the species, while the female of each species is equipped to
reproduce and multiply to maintain the continuity of that species. Only the
female is equipped with the necessary apparatus to bear, deliver, nurse and
care for the young. The female human has been endowed with love, kindness,
sympathy, care and affection in order to carry out her duties to her children
with dignity. Based on this natural predisposition and delegation of
responsibilities, and based on the unique qualities of the male and the female,
it is only natural for man to work outside the house and earn for the
sustenance of the family and for the woman to work inside the house and take
care of the children and the family in general.
Considering this basic fact, Islamic law does not deprive a
woman from the right to work within the limits that protect her honor and
dignity. Islam permits the woman to personally conduct her business contracts
and financial transactions. All such contracts and transactions are sound and
valid in the view of Islamic jurisprudence. There are certain set conditions which
if violated, the permission given to the woman to practice this right will be
rendered void and she can be restrained from the use of her right.
The work that the women engage outside the home must not
conflict with her duties and responsibilities to her husband and children. Her
work must be with other women and free of intermingling in a male environment,
where she comes into physical contact with men, or is confined and exposed to
molestation and abuse. As the Messenger of Allah said (r):
“A man is not
secluded with a woman, but that the Satan is the third party to them.”
[ Tirmidhi
#1171 and verified]
And
in another tradition,
A man said: “O Messenger of Allah my wife has gone out to
go for Pilgrimage and I have been written to go for a military campaign.”
He said: “Go and make Pilgrimage with your wife.”
[Bukhari #4935 & Muslim #1341 ]
Lady Cook, the well-known English
writer says in New Echo:
"Men
like (and prefer) the mixed environment. Thus, women are lured to
something that conflicts with their human nature. The greater the co-ed.
environment (between male and female), the more illegitimate children
the society will have. There is the greatest disaster..."
The work that the woman performs outside her home must be, in
the first place, a lawful employment or job that suits the nature and physique
of the woman. She must not, for instance, be obliged to do heavy industrial
jobs, and other jobs to which men are more suited to perform.
The question that poses itself here is: Why does the woman
have to work in the first place? If a woman is working to earn her own living
expenses, Islam has absolved her from this duty by obliging, as mentioned
earlier, the male family members to take care of the entire financial needs and
obligations. Thus from her birth to death, throughout the various stages of her
entire life, she is not required to work to give utmost dignity and
concentration to her paramount mission and duty of taking care of the home and
raising the children. This honorable mission requires great sacrifices and
devotion, and has the highest status.
The well-known English scholar Samuel Smiles, one of
the pillars of the English renaissance says:
"The
system that has required women to work in factories and industrial areas,
regardless of the national wealth it brings, has destroyed the family life. It
has attacked, in fact, the basic structure and foundations of the home and
destroyed the essential pillars of the family. It has cut and destroyed social
ties as well. Stripping the wife from her husband, and depriving children of
their rights of proper, tender and maternal care, has resulted in lower moral
values for the women. The real job and profession of a woman is to raise a
good, sound and moral family. She is mainly required to take care of household
responsibilities, home economics and other domestic needs. Work in factories
has stripped the woman, as we pointed earlier, of all these responsibilities
which changed the looks and the realities of the inner home. Children, as well,
were often neglected and raised with no sound standards. The love and affection
between husband and wife were somewhat extinguished. The woman was no longer
the sought, wanted, admired and loved by man, after he got used to seeing her
in the factory next to him doing the same thing he does. Woman came under many
influences and pressures that changed her mentality and thinking pattern on
which moral values and virtues were established."
In fact, the First Lady of South Africa calls for the return
of woman to the home saying:
"The
most natural place for a woman is her own home. The main task and
responsibility for a woman must be to care for her husband and attend to the
needs of her children."
She also said in an address to a women's conference in the
capital of South Africa:
"The
main task and responsibility for a woman must be to care for her husband and
attend to the needs of her children… This is our duty in the society. It is a
duty in which we should take special pride as it produces successful men and
sound generations."
On Hijab (covering head and face)
This issue has been sensationalized in the media, especially
in some secular countries like France
and Turkey
which seek to make illegal the wearing of the Muslim headscarf or face veil in
public places. We will not delve into all the details of the issue but, given
the information above and some additional information below, we will let the readers
judge for themselves whether or not the
modest clothing and covering of the beauty and adornments of women, mandated in
Islamic scriptures, is only for her own honor and protection, or not.
Allah (U)
says:
(O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and
the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (and/or veils) over
their bodies. That is better that they should be known so as not to be annoyed
and molested. Allah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.) [33:59]
This verse clearly states that the reason the woman is
obligated to cover herself is to distinguish her to be identified as a
respectable Muslim lady, to avoid the annoying glances and glares of the men.
As we all know, provocative clothing urges some men to make advances, and
expose women to molestation. This may be encouraged and marketed in some
societies, but not among the respectable faithful Muslims.
All protective measures should be taken to guard women from
excess temptation, which are explained in Islamic jurisprudence. Some of them
are related to the women’s attire like loose fitting body wrapping, head
covering, and according to the authentic interpretations of the scriptures of
the Qur’an and Sunnah, the face veil.
Allah (U)
also said:
(And tell the believing women to lower their gaze
and guard their private parts and not display their adornment (and beauty),
except that which appears thereof (ordinarily) and to draw their
coverings over their chests and not display their adornment except to their
husbands, their fathers, their husband’s fathers, their sons, their husband’s
sons, their brothers, their brothers’ sons, their sisters’ sons, their women,
that which their right hands possess (their slaves) or those male
attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the
private aspects of women. And let them not stomp their feet to make known what
they conceal of their adornments. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you,
O believers that you might succeed.) [24:31]
This verse indicates those males who are categorized as “mahram,”
as mentioned above, and designates that men and women should lower their gazes
in modesty, which is the best self-protection from natural temptations and
mutual attractions that occur between the opposite sexes.
And Allah (U)
says, indicating the provocative manners with which the women of pre-Islamic
era used to walk about, and calling the believers to appropriate behavior and
repentance:
(And
stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the times of
ignorance, and establish regular prayers and give obligatory charity and obey
Allah and His Messenger. Allah wishes only to remove impurity from you, O
members of the family (of the Prophet), and to purify you with a
thorough purification. And remember (O you the members of the Prophet's
family, the Graces of your Lord), that which is recited in your houses of
the Verses of Allah and Wisdom (i.e. Prophet's Sunnah ). Verily, Allah is Ever Most Courteous, Well-Acquainted
with all things. Verily, the Muslims men and women, the believing men and
women, the obedient men and women, the truthful men and women, the patient men
and women, the humble men and women, the charitable men and women, the fasting
men and the women, the chaste men and women, and the men and the women who
remember Allah much with their hearts and tongues; Allah has prepared for them forgiveness
and a great reward (i.e. Paradise). It is not for a believing man or
woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decreed a matter, that they should
have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allah and His
Messenger, he has indeed strayed in a clear error.) [33:33-6]
We can see that Islamic regulations, although similar to many
other cultures where modest dress and behavior is concerned, are yet unique to
the highest standards of the Muslim identity of chastity, righteousness, and
moral uprightness. Islam protects and safeguards the individuals and the
society from awkward situations of unnecessary intermingling between
marriageable males and females leading to natural temptations. The Messenger of
Allah (r)
said in an authentic tradition:
“Verily for every religion there is a
characteristic, and the characteristic of Islam is Haya`a (modesty, shyness, bashfulness).”
[ Ibn Maajah #4172 and
verified]
Conclusion
Islam is the eternal divine message of Allah, the Almighty and
Exalted, to all mankind, delivered by the Prophet and Messenger of Allah (r).
Some have believed in the Message of Islam and followed it, while others
disbelieved in it or refuse to follow. Allah (U)
declared that all human beings are dignified and honored more than other
creatures of Allah, as He stated in the Glorious Qur'an:
(And indeed We have honored the children of Adam,
and We have carried them on land and sea, and have provided them with lawful
good things, and have preferred them above many of those whom We have created
with a marked preference.) [17:70]
Allah (U) also declared another
major principle: that all men are created equal in terms of original creation.
He stated in the Glorious Qur'an:
(O mankind! Be dutiful to Your Lord, Who created you
from a single person (Adam), and from him (Adam) He created many
men and women; and fear Allah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights),
and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (i.e. kinship).
Surely, Allah is Ever an All-Watcher over you.) [4:1]
Based on the previous principles, all men and women are equal
in terms of humanity and basic values, obligations and responsibilities. All
men and women are created equal in the sight of Allah. Their differences in
race, language, livelihood and geography etc have no relationship to increase
or decrease this honor. True distinction among them is based on their
God-consciousness, commitment to Islam, the revealed religion of Allah, and
their level of practice and application of its principles in their own daily
lives. Allah (U) stated this in the
Glorious Qur'an when He said:
(O
Mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into
nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most honorable
of you in the Sight of Allah is the one who is most pious and righteous.
Verily, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware.) [49:13]
Therefore true honor of any person in the Sight of Allah is
not on the basis of color, social status, sex, race, strength, health, dignity
or wealth. The only measure of distinction in the Sight of Allah is strictly on
the basis of piety, faith and the performance of good deeds.
Similarly, Allah's Prophet (r)
was also reported as saying:
“O people, your Lord is one and your father is one. There
is no superiority of an Arab over a non-Arab, or non-Arab over an Arab, nor of
a red person over a black, or a black person over a red, except by piety.”
[Ahmad #23536 and
verified]
The teachings of Islam remove all artificial differences
between men, and place them all on equal footing. One of the essential
teachings of Islam, often misconstrued, abused or poorly explained, is that “a
female is equal to a male in everything except where there is a distinct
reality and exception.” The equalities and exceptions were the subject of
this book attempted to clarify some of these misconceptions about the reality
of women in Islam.
Allah (U)
stated in the Glorious Qur'an:
(The believers, men and women, are helpers,
supporters, friends and protectors of one another; they enjoin (on the
people) Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do; and they
forbid (people) from all forms of evil (i.e. polytheism and
disbelief of all kinds, and all that Islam has forbidden); they offer their
prayers perfectly, and give their charity and obey Allah and His Messenger.
Allah will shower His Mercy upon them. Surely Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise.) [9:71]
Allah (U)
stated in the Glorious Qur'an:
(So
their Lord accepted (their supplications and answered them), Never will
I allow to be lost the work of any one of you, be he male or female. You are (members)
one of another...) [3:195]
Allah (U)
stated in the Glorious Qur'an:
(There is a share for men and a share for women from
what is left by parents and those closely related, whether the property be
small or large, a legal share.) [4:7]
Based upon what has been said and elaborated upon throughout
this book, one can comfortably and confidently say that a woman will never
enjoy her natural honor and full rights and freedoms except under the
protection of the divine and just laws of Islam. Islam designates certain
duties and obligations that necessarily go hand in hand with the rights. Islam
is a divine religion revealed by the Beneficent and Omniscient, as opposed to
man-made laws that dictate artificial boundaries, privileges, and monopolies.
Islam is everlasting and universal, for the whole of mankind, male and female,
rich and poor, the ruler and ruled, and strong and weak, whether white, black,
red or yellow. They are all equal in the Sight of their Creator, Allah (U),
who knows best what is of benefit in both this world and the hereafter.
I beseech the reader not to pass hasty judgment on Islam on
the basis of what is observed in the behavior and attitude of some groups of
Muslims who, unfortunately, use Islam to cover up their personal or party
crimes. There are many individuals who are Muslims since they declare by their
lips that “There is no god worthy of worship except Allah Alone, and
Muhammad is the slave and Messenger of Allah” but, regretfully, do not
perform their Islamic duties or demonstrate sincere commitment to Islam by good
moral conduct. Islam is a complete, pure religion, simple to apply in all the
various circumstances. Many Muslims strive throughout their lifetime to be good
and upright, seeking the pleasure of Allah in all that they do or refrain from
doing. On the other hand, there are individuals who deserve to be punished in
this world and in the hereafter, for their crimes. These crimes may be so
heinous that they are of the level of disbelief and apostasy from Islam, or
they may be of a lesser level of disobedience and neglectfulness of the wise
commands and beneficial teachings of Allah (U),
and His Prophet (r). It is understood that
if someone lacks something himself, whether it is wealth or morals, he will not
enable someone else to have it. This principle applies to Islam as well. For
those who are keen to learn more about Islam, our advice is that they seek
knowledge from those who are well known for their knowledge, understanding and
practice of Islam in their own lives, whereas “non-practicing” Muslims
will definitely mislead them.
Superficial knowledge of
Islam is dangerous, harmful and detrimental since merely reading a few books
about Islam, very possibly with unreliable sources, will not qualify a person
to pass verdicts and disseminate sound knowledge about Islam. Following opinions
blindly is also very dangerous and harmful. It is compulsory to seek sound
knowledge about Islam, and not be tricked by those who spread false worship and
practice. Allah stated in the Glorious Qur'an:
(There
is no compulsion in religion. Verily, the Right Path has become distinct from
the wrong path. Whoever disbelieves in the 'Taghoot' (what is
worshipped other than Allah and pleased with the false worship) and believes
in Allah, has grasped the trustworthy handhold that will never break; Allah is
the All-Hearer, All-Knower.) [2:256]
والحمد لله رب العالمين
وصلى الله وسلم على نبينا محمد وآله
وسلم
All Praise is due to Allah alone, the Lord of the
Worlds
And may Allah exalt the mention of His Prophet and his
household and render him safe from every derogatory thing
It has been seen Non Muslims and others always wonder why we Muslims love and adore the final prophet (s.a.w) so much. Why does every Muslim have to follow him and what is so Great about Rasool (s.a.w) so on and so forth. Well the answer to this can never be short. It is as huge as 500 volumes of Books. But a person is known from his actions, his teachings, his principles. And i shall enlist one example per aspect of life, or say one example per topic showing the teachings of rasool (s.a.w). 
